Confessions

I had a friend tell me once, "Brandy, I love you and I am your friend so I am going to tell you something and don't let it hurt your feelings. You are too hard on people. You expect way too much from others. When you talk to people you stare right into their eyes and it makes them uncomfortable. Almost like you are reading into every word they say." Since then I have also been told that I stare off into nothing and almost seem lost at times and a friend confirmed all of the previous statements. WOW! Sadly I never realized I did any of these things.

When I was a bill collector we were taught the ways to tell if someone is lying. I saw some pretty crappy stuff from being a bill collector (that is a whole other post in itself). Seeing the signs of lying was the wrong thing to teach me! I am so scared that someone knows those same tricks that I tried too hard not to do those things. I guess I was trying too hard to make people believe me and believe in me. Thank you Carol for teaching me to relax.

Expecting too much.? I guess I was just raised with different work ethics than some people. I always had to take care of myself when I started working and I expected everyone else to have that same mentality. I use to be a waitress at the local pizza joint in town and we were suppose to take turns waiting on customers. Most girls didn't want to take their turn. I always jumped in their place. I wanted things and had to buy them myself! Thank you Marquita for teaching me to relax.

Staring off into the open? I had my guard up for a long time. A long line of disappointments behind me made me that way. I will have many, many more I am sure. Thank you Rachel and Cameron for teaching me to love again.

I have learned alot. Still trying to relax, accept and love. Sometimes focusing too much on learning. Without any of these experiences in my life I wouldn't be the way I am today. I am here and now, I am real, I am simply me but if I look at you funny when you talk, expect you to work a little harder, and seem to stare out into the open I want you to remember I am still learning.

It seems like human interaction is the hardest lesson to learn out of all of them. No lesson today though just some confessions...Until then

Keep Rockin