The Original Rock Star

Remembering 9/11

2011-09-11T06:10:00.000-07:00

I have watched Nat Geo several nights this past week and pretty much cried every night. They have been remembering 9/11. If you get a chance catch some of it.

Here is what I remember. 10 years ago today I was listening to The Wheels on the Bus and doing the hand motions while driving Rachel to daycare. After dropping her off I quickly turned on the radio and heard people yelling, lots of confusion and the announcer was saying a plane had accidentally hit the World Trade Center. Work was just right around the corner from daycare so I quickly got in and turned the tv on. Robert, the pharmacist and I stood there and watched as the world changed for all of us. It wasn't long before the second plane hit and war began.

We read stories of tragedy and war like this in school. We had to learn all the facts. The dates, the battles, who was in charge all the time thinking it was silly and useless facts we had to know and be quizzed on. Now I know why. We need to remember.

I was proud of all of us as Americans after that coming together. At one time you could see flags on people's houses and businesses as far as you could see. Things have changed since then. Some of us have slipped comfortably back into life while some are still tortured with what happened that day. Many families lost loved ones that day and after that in war.

Maybe 10 years later its a good idea for us to go back to that uncomfortable place and fly our flags again. Its time to walk up to a solider at the grocery store and shake his hand. Be thankful for your safety. Be thankful that we dont have to be afraid. Forget about all the politics and anger we have for one day. Make today that day.

My name is Brandy Kemp and I will never forget.

Rockin the Ukulele

2011-09-06T07:18:00.000-07:00

As my husband would say...I am so easily amused.

Keep Rockin Freaky Japanese Rabbit and Bear

Mapping the Stars

2011-09-06T06:37:00.000-07:00

Cam my youngest wanted to go outside before bed a couple of nights ago and draw the stars on a map so she could wish on them. She went on and on about how big the universe was. How it was bigger than all of us. When I asked her what she wished for she said, "I wished for more stars." More stars? She said, "More stars so I could have more wishes." I love the way she thinks.

I went back to the house I grew up in a couple of years ago and remember being amazed at how small the yard was. Growing up it seemed like it was as big as what I thought Texas would be. As big as the universe. Everyone in the neighborhood seemed to gravitate to our house because of the space to play. We had kickball, baseball, football, bicycle races, the occasional parade and a few mock games of the Price is Right.

Our yard was huge! It seems like if someone hit the ball close to the road it took forever to run out there! I wont even mention the time we couldn't find the baseball and decided to play with a tennis ball. Can you say broken window? I didn't know a tennis ball would travel that far!

While walking the yard as an adult I was shocked at how small it was. Of course the landscape had changed alot, bushes that were not there before, and trees over grown. It was sad to look at the old house. It wasn't in the shape it was in when I was growing up there. I wish I would've seen the inside and slapped the attic string against the ceiling one good time for old times sake.

I realized on the way home that one day my girls would discover that the world is not as big as it seems. Is that so bad? Yes there are tons of places I haven't discovered and sadly some that I will never see. I want them to see more, do more and be more than I ever will. I guess in a way I want them to see how small this place is and realize there is more out there than this yard we have to discover.

I hope they continue to discover the universe.

Here is a song about it girls...Its a Big World

I know its a corny song but I am feeling sappy today about my little girls in a big world. Especially after watching my star mapper walk in kindergarten by herself every morning.

Keep Mappin the Stars.. er uh... Rockin

Believe

2011-08-30T06:40:00.001-07:00

I cant believe it has almost been a month since I last blogged! Shame on me! With the summer days and school just starting back the appointments get later in the day and it seems like I play catch up all day long even though I seem to have the same amount of hours in each day.

I have recently conducted 3 very large business transactions. One was a complete disaster, one we are still working out the kinks and a third one went off without a problem at all. Ironically the 3rd one was the one I was staying awake at night worrying about. I cried on the way home after the 3rd one. I guess the stress had gotten to me.

After the ups and downs of all of these transactions I turned to my husband one day while we were on our way home frustrated from a meeting and told him, "I understand now why people strive for customer service." (Meaning good customer service) Its hard to find! I would bet we've all felt this way at one time or another.

I came across this quote a while back "Customers don’t expect you to be perfect.
They do expect you to fix things when they go wrong."

I make tons of mistakes and beat myself up pretty bad when I do. You have no idea how bad. I know that no one is perfect but I strive to be perfect.

After the recent disaster transaction I have reflected back on my own customer service and hope and pray that I have never overlooked a person, made them feel unimportant, or have fixed the things that went wrong. Before, during or after a session.

I remember my oldest daughter coming home one day from school very upset. She told me about a problem she had with a close friend. The friend had done her so wrong. She was so upset. The first thing I told her was, "Remember how this feels. Crappy huh? Never make another person feel like this." I hate it when my kids learn lessons early in their life.

Call it stupid, call it naive, call it what you will but I will always believe in people. I want to think there is good in all of us. I know I will be frustrated. I know I will be let down and I know that I will be hurt again. It will all be worth it to me.

Nothing like a little DMB to give us a reason to believe in others

You may thank me for the jam...until then

Keep (Believing) Rockin

They Make Me Smile

2011-08-03T12:47:00.000-07:00

Sunday my Cam will be 5. Gosh, I cant get over how fast she is growing up and then I turn around and look at Rachel, my oldest, and she is a grown woman at 13.

I wonder what I was like at 5. Was I as curious? Did I have an imagination like Cameron's? One that should be bottled by the way. And then I look at Rachel. Was I that confident? I know I wasnt that athletic!

I love to hear them laugh. Rachel has this explosion laugh that almost catches you off guard and you cant help but laugh with her. Her mouth is wide open and she isnt scared to show others when she sees something funny. I like that. Cameron has this chipmunk like laugh and likes to slap her knee when she wants others to know something is funny to her. Your cheeks hurts from smiling when she laughs. They are so different but they are still the same.

I just said the other day I wish I could record their laughter and play it over and over. One day they will want to hear it...One day they will need to hear it...One day I will need to hear it.

I am proud of my girls. I hope they continue to laugh, smile and make others laugh. Its such an infectious sound. I read that laughter encourages concentration on "right" attitudes rather than "wrong" attitudes.

Here is one of Cam's favorite songs she likes to sing out loud that is appropriate.

You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep(Smilin) Rockin

Unbelievable

2011-06-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

Ive always heard music is a mini trip into another time. It brings back memories good and bad, it evokes emotion, it makes you sing as loud as you can in your car alone, and sometimes even makes you act a fool! A short vacation for 3 minutes, an escape.

Today while driving a flashback came on. And it took me back to the time I was in Jr High. This song wasn't even around then but it would've def been on my mix tape. We didnt have the money to buy a big sound system that would record so I improvised. One year for Christmas I got a pink jam box...my sister got an identical one that was blue. So when a good song would come on the radio I would record from mine while holding it as close to her speakers as I could. Of course I always missed the first part of the song and one of my sisters would bust up in the room while I was trying to record. You could always hear the song start in the chorus instead of the beginning and hear, "Brandy! Can I....shhhh I am recording" over the middle of the song. Funny how time has changed...I dont even think my daughters even know the term mix tape. Unbelievable... I know

Here's one to make you sing loud in the car

If you could make a mix tape what would be on it? Oh wait now it is called shuffle on your ipod. I think...anyway

Keep "Remembering" Rockin

Lets Play Ball

2011-05-10T12:16:00.000-07:00

I realized while watching my oldest have one of her best games ever last night that this will probably be her last year of softball. As much as I have whined about driving across the county, not being home to work, red dirt in the truck, smelly uniforms to wash, grabbing supper along the way (which I cant stand to do), and sad when she has to sit on the bench. I will miss it. She's already hinted around about it so I know that it will be coming.

I think one of the things I will miss the most is watching her up to bat. I still see her when she first started in pig tails but she is now a beautiful young lady. Having that feeling in my heart wanting her to make perfect contact with the ball and run the bases with pride. My stomach is just tight watching her. Praying she will make the play of a lifetime. So anxious I cant stand to sit down. Feeling her pain and grief when she doesn't. Seeing a pop fly coming right to her and holding my breath and talking to myself saying, "You got this. You got this." I hate the fact not that she messes up but knowing how she feels when she didn't tag the girl on second base that stole in time. But watching her smile when she comes into the dugout knowing that she just made the most awesome play.

I will miss it but I am sure there will be many other times in her life I will be seeing her in pigtails and holding my breath. I hate the fact that she is growing up.

Weve been through 5 years of softball and 4 years of All Stars. She has made some awesome friends and has definitely learned the meaning of the word teamwork. The past couple of years between games the girls would get on the field and do the Cupid Shuffle. Alot of times the opposing team would get out there with them...Here you go Medina Ladies

3 up 3 down...Let me see you do the Cupid Shuffle

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

The Reason

2011-04-11T07:21:00.000-07:00

Took a much needed wog this morning before the storm hit. The sky looked so powerful and at one point I ran with my eyes closed just to feel the wind on my face and the light mist of rain. I remembered this morning why I like to stay so busy. It keeps me from thinking so much. Wondering why, questioning this, asking that.

It has been a whirl wind of a year and next month marks my one year anniversary as a full time photog. Well, I was full time before just not officially. I am very thankful for the overwhelming response to my work. There were many reasons why I or other artist want to share their work with the world. Reasons sometimes that can't be explained. I hope I never stray from my reason.

My reason? Hard to really put into words. Sometimes we all get so caught up in life, work, "reasons" that we miss the smallest things in life. The gift we have all been given.

I am taking a few days off next week (Yes you can pick yourself up off the ground. I am taking one of those things they call a vacation.) I want my fam to remember the reason we are all together. The reason we formed our family. The reason why we love each other. The reason why we cheer each other on. The reason why we have cried for each other when illness struck our family. The reason why we are a rockstar family. The very reason why I want to share my work with others. So they can see it in their own lives.

Hoobastank (Dont you just love saying that?) released a song in 2004 called The Reason. It has absolutely nothing to do with this post but the name! And well, the fact that Hoobastank is such an awesome name for a band. Crank it up.

You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Wanda and Gail

2011-03-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

For those of you that do not know about this project you can go back here to read the introduction to it. http://mebkp.blogspot.com/2011/01/make-difference.htmlThis is Wanda and Gail, my March peeps...

Today I want to introduce you to two very special women that were nominated by their daughter and niece.
The original idea for this project was to introduce very special people that I know to others and it was truly my honor to be introduced to Gail and Wanda.

Mandy their niece and daughter had planned this interview for a while but was unable to work it out until recently. Gail and Wanda showed up at my studio dressed in beautiful jewel toned blouses. When I asked them if Mandy had given them a basic idea of what they were there for Gail spoke up and said " I don't have a clue. I guess we are here to have pictures made." I jumped right in and said "Mandy didn't tell you that you had to get naked?" When they snapped back and laughed I knew we were in for a good time. I explained the project to them and why Mandy had nominated them and the tears started flowing. Before it was over I was crying too.

I immediately learned into the interview that they had recently lost their mother. A very hard time for a child. I remember being in that place, losing a parent. Everything makes you emotional. I honestly think the interview was good for both ladies to really speak of their mother. The interview quickly turned into her interview being spoken through both of her daughters who highly admired her.
They both in unison stated that their mother was an unselfish woman. She did everything for the family and was truly the backbone. She never worried or complained about her role as the backbone of the family. Often cleaning their rooms for them without them having to lift a finger. They strive to be more and more like her.

In giving the world one piece of advice Gail spoke first saying, "Go with Jesus." and Wanda "Enjoy every moment because life is short." They both said "Everything happens for a reason."

Both of them spoke of how proud they were of their families. Working hard themselves to be the backbone of their own family. They agreed that children are a product of their environment and thrived to raise their children with the same values they were raised in.

Mandy arrived deep into the interview and spoke of her "mothers" as she called them both. "Always going the extra mile not just for her but for everyone." She stated she could not live without them.

Both ladies have become their mother. Beautiful, strong, influential women and I am not even sure if they even realized it until that day. The interview that was meant for them became their mothers which is what they have become.
Oh yeah, Wanda I haven't forgotten. I want to see swimming pictures before the end of the year and line dancing images from you Gail. I am holding you to your promises. Thank you ladies, It was truly my honor to meet you and share you with the world.

After reading this Gail added: One thing I would like to say is, strength is not something we are born with, it has to be learned, therefore it has to be taught, this I believe is something our mom did indeed teach her children! The trials & struggles we go thru in life are only an opportunity to use the lessons we have been taught by the amazing people in our lives!

If you know someone special and want to nomiate them for this project please email me at brandykphotography@gmail.com

Nate Dogg

2011-03-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

Read this morning that Nate Dogg had passed away at the early age of 41. It is so sad to hear that an icon in my era has passed.

Nate Dogg was a four-time Grammy nominee and a major participant in the West Coast G-Funk sound, contributing memorable and chart-topping hooks to hits spanning the past two decades, starting with his heavy featuring on Dr. Dre's The Chronic. He went on to add his smooth, laid-back sound to Warren G's "Regulate," Dre and Snoop Dogg's "The Next Episode," Ludacris' "Area Codes" and Eminem's "Shake That." His most recent solo album, Nate Dogg, was released in 2008.

RIP Nate Dogg, you are a true legend in hip hop.

The Power of Passion Tour

2011-03-11T05:51:00.001-08:00

Late last night I had the pleasure of attending The Power of Passion Tour hosted by Sandy Puc. Last year I had tickets to her Family Tour and badly injured my shoulder a few weeks before then and ended up giving my ticket to another photographer because I was unable to travel, let alone lift my arm.

So I was fired up about last night. It was like walking into a rock concert. Sandy always speaks with such "passion" about her love for photography and connecting with others. Jerry Ghionis is a show all in himself. Between the laughter, funny Australian nicknames for things we have and his raw talent, it was simply amazing!

I proudly walked away with new knowledge of how to create moments and not to let the families we are photographing at weddings lose what is really important that day. Stress sets in a weddings and everyone is exhausted when it is over and they wonder what really happened. Jerry taught me to help my clients embrace the day and take it for what it is. A truly remarkable day that should always be remembered.

He taught me how to challenge myself. To slow down and really take my time to capture that look. The look that I want my clients to have.

Everyone is a photographer now. Simply that. Everyone has a camera, everyone has a camera phone, everyone. I am not just a photographer I am me. I want to show myself in my photography. Not just in weddings but in every portrait session I am involved with. I will set myself apart from everyone else by being me and not just a photographer. I will deliver the wow wedding images that everyone will want.

I cant wait to show you the new me. Thank you Jerry and Sandy. You two are truly amazing. Thank you for helping The Wedding Divas become who we are. We are committed to making this change. I cant wait to see you on the next tour.

I will defiantly Keep Rockin!

*The Wedding Divas is a sister company of brandy kemp Photography and Stephani Foster Photography. A tag team set of photographers to conquer a wedding with a new look, passion and fun experience you will always remember.

Disco Duck

2011-03-01T08:49:00.000-08:00

I got my first record player at a very young age from my Grandpa. He use to go to these sales on Saturday nights and bring back tons of things. For some reason he got in his head that Mom collected salt and pepper shakers...she has tons of them.

My mom and Aunt Betty gave me all of their old records to listen to on my new record player. I kept them all in a Turner ice cream bucket. I listed to everything from "The Beat Goes On" to "Montego Bay". My sisters and I even made up dances to "Stanga" (we use to call is Stand Up so that is what we would do through out the whole song) and "Jimmy Mack".

To this day I still listen to the oldies all the time in the truck and every once in a while "Build Me Up Buttercup" will come on or another song I know and I am able to sing every word still to this day.

This morning I flashed back to our old house in Bolivar when this one came on the air. I caught myself dancing, singing, flapping my arms and making funny noises with my mouth all while driving down the road.

You may thank me for the jam

Keep Quakin (Rockin)

bkP Studio Wish List

2011-02-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

Still dreaming big about my rockin bkP studio...I keep saying I am going to write down things I want. I cant write worth a crap so I thought I would keep up with them this way. Someone once told me if you don't share your dreams they may never come true. Here is a starter list

1. A changing table-Right now the moms either lay the baby on their lap or on the backdrop...I clean everything btw...don't want germs to spread

2. A place to change clothes-Right now I have my Fauxto Booth backdrop hanging up so it doesn't get wrinkles in it. The girls slip behind there and change. Before I would step outside the door and either freeze my hiney off or burn up.

3. A separate viewing room-Right now I have a 42' big screen on the wall and I have to steal the dining room chairs. They make this awful noise on the concrete floor and they are not very comfortable unless you have a big meal in front of you at the table.

4. Ceiling mounted lights-Right now I have an off camera speedlight (wireless) and an Alien Bee. Wish I had a hair light too.

5. A bathroom-I dont know why we didnt think about this when we built the studio and no need for explanation I am sure!

6. A long mirrored hallway-Obviously dont have this but wouldnt it be cool?

7. A room that is large enough to pull a car in. I want it painted white from ceiling to floor. And I can pretend like I am in a Quiet Riot video.

8. A light screen like this! Oh yeah and the microphone too!

ok enough dreaming back to work...I am sure I will resume this list soon. Until then

Keep Rockin

The Old Rag Top

2011-02-17T08:37:00.000-08:00

I heard a story the other day a friend told me....She is going to kill me for sharing but it has an awesome story behind it to me. So I wont tell who it was...you know who you are!

We were on the phone when a loud buzzer came across the phone and of course I had to ask, "Where are you?" She started laughing and said she was at the car wash. She went on to tell me how nervous they make her and how she once drove a Jeep Wrangler through one (it had a rag top mind you). Of course I am beside myself laughing imagining water running in the sides and the big blowers at the end caving in the top.

She said she knew when she drove up it was a mistake but didn't want to ask anyone behind her to back up and let her out so she went through it anyway and came out with a scary experience and a great laugh for me.

Anyway her story reminded me of how we all get into scary or bad situations but we just dont want to tell someone no or back up so we can get out of the way. Instead we go through the experience without inconviencing someone and doing minor damages to ourselves.

Sometimes we have to stand up and get out of the way. In one way or another, I learn this lesson every other day it seems like. If you see danger ahead or a rag top caving in your future get out of way. This is probably when you need to drive away.

Here is a song not about rag tops but how you need to be in the driver's seat.

You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Tammy

2011-02-14T12:08:00.000-08:00

For those of you that do not know about this project you can go back here to read the introduction to it. http://mebkp.blogspot.com/2011/01/make-difference.htmlThis is Tammy, my February peep...

Today I want to introduce you to a lady I met a few months ago. I was instantly attracted to her bubbly personality not to mention her sense of style. Later I found out she is the co-pastor of "FAM" First Assembly of God in Milan. I asked Tammy to be a part of this project so I can show you just how awesome I found out she is!

I sat down for a little Q&A with her to get to know her a little better.

bkP: Tell me a little about your "job" if you see it as one.
Tammy: I do not categorize it as a job; I consider it more like a lifestyle. I would express it in these terms: This is not what I do, this is who I am. God has blessed me with this skill set & ability and in turn I use it to help people see the talents and abilities that He has given them.

bkP: When did you realize this is what you were meant to do?
Tammy: At 15 I became aware of the fact that He had a plan for my life and that was when I knew I wanted to help others.

bkP: So how did you get here?
Tammy: I was raised in a Baptist church and at age nine I gave my heart to Jesus. As a young teen we started going to an Assembly of God church where I ministered under the youth pastor and after high school I decided to go to Southeastern University in Florida. It was there I met my husband Rick and together we have been in full-time ministry since 1996.

bkP: I was raised to believe that a man is the "man" of the house and in church a woman should not have a role as a pastor. I don't want to imply that is how it should be but do you feel like there is some discrimination against you as a female pastor?
Tammy: Not at all although I am sure that I relate better to the women in the church but I also have a very healthy relationship with the men in the church as well. My husband and I work very well together as a team. We know each other's strengths and weaknesses and we definitely work together to complement one another. I believe that God has put us together as a team. My role as a co-pastor is to help my husband to be all that he can be. To be the wind behind him and amazingly there is no competition between us at all.

bkP: Who did you admire growing up?
Tammy: My mother, my pastor, and my youth pastors all had a very profound impact on my life.

bkP: What are 3 words to describe yourself?
Tammy: Passionate, loyal, and loving. I have a strong desire to express these and reproduce these in others especially love which is the greatest commandment.

bkp: Something you’re most proud of.
Tammy: My family; my children; they are all truly incredible.

bkP: If you could give the world one piece of advice what would it be?
Tammy: Just to be the person that you were created to be and to do it with all your heart. I believe God has given everyone of us unique gifts and talents and they should be used to their full potential.

bkP: I read a survey not too long ago that the fastest growing group in America is people who say they have no religion at all. Why do you think that is?
Tammy: First of all I do not consider myself to be religious; I have a personal relationship with Jesus. I think that is where we all go wrong. There are too many rules and regulations to fit in anywhere and even religion. God wants us to have a relationship with him. One of my favorite quotes is "You can teach someone what you know but you reproduce who you are." We should set an example to younger generations and show them the personal relationship that you can have and that church can be fun even without all the rules and regulations that man has imposed. God expects me to be who I am and accepts me just the way I am.

bkP: It has been a long time since I have stepped inside a church. The church I grew up in was very boring. I remember when I was little I use to stretch out on the pew and sleep and would only wake up when the preacher would yell. Everything was so monotone. Do you think the "new" church is the way to go? We are in a visual age where we need visual stimulation. Do we need lots of music and things to make church exciting? Do you think that strays from the traditional "church" I grew up in?
Tammy: Not one bit. It is the same message just a different method. You are a photographer, and you don't photograph like they did when you were 9 right? You have to stay unique, fresh, and exciting. Our church is the same way. We want to draw people in and keep spreading the message that we are here and we are part of the community as well. You have to have a relationship with your congregation. We want our "FAM" to be a family; a place where you are an important part of a family and you feel that way.

Tammy and I talked for over 2 hours about her journey. She told me of the times she spoke at a large prison in North Carolina and how she zip lined across the rooftop of the rain forest in Costa Rica on a missions trip. She showed true emotion in our discussion even one time bringing me to tears. She told me of how she wants to continue moving forward. How she wants to grow her audience, not just to be in front of thousands of people but to help them recognize who they really are. It only takes a few minutes to be around her to have her attention. She is definitely one of a kind and I am happy to share her with you.

Pete Eckert

2011-02-09T06:46:00.001-08:00

| Artists Wanted | In Focus : Pete Eckert (Lo-Speed) from Artists Wanted on Vimeo.

While working today to redesign some things on my blogsite I came across this amazing man. You can find more information on Pete at http://www.peteeckert.com/.

Beautiful Boy

2011-01-24T05:49:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I am driving to Melvis to photograph a newborn. Its a pretty good drive there too but I cant wait to get a hold of him! His pictures from the hospital show a head full of hair! I just love it! I wanted to share the email his mom sent me...this is why I love my job.

"...see when my husband asked me why I wanted to use you instead of finding someone local I had to explain that you actually have a personal relationship with your clients which shows in your pictures. No cookie cutter images like the places our friends go to. Each photo shoot we do with you will have memories attached and that's what I'll think of when I look back at the photos."

This is one of my favorite John Lennon songs...well there are tons of them but this one fits. I cant wait to hold that beautiful boy.

Keep Rockin Mom!

The Camino

2011-01-19T09:23:00.001-08:00

I am a HUGE fan of cars. HUGE! I love the old boats, the gangster cars. At one time I had 32 cars! Everything from Corvettes to Corvairs. Thats a story all in itself.

So whenever I see an old car I keep an eye on it. Usually I pass by it several times and I always look. I look because I admire it. Admire the dashboard, the lights, the quirky little things about it.

There was this old El Camino I kept an eye on. I have always liked the car/truck but never drove one or let alone owned one. It was in tip top shape too. It had that old ugly brown paint on it, no rust that I could see from the road and they had taken good care of it. I kept waiting for the day when a for sale sign would be in the window.

I dont think many people my age appreciate the older cars, especially women and I figured it was an elderly man who owned it. The car was parked at an older home that had these great flowering bushes in the yard. The kind my grandmother use to have. I guess that is why I imagined this elderly couple that had been married since dirt was invented. I kept thinking this Camino was his memories of their younger days together and he just couldnt let go of it.

At the beginning of the year I saw an awful wreck...an El Camino. I couldnt make out the color of the car because it was so dark. It was very close to the home of my Camino I admired. It was obvious from the wreck someone was either badly injured or had not survived.

Since then I have looked and the El Camino has not been there. I drove by yesterday hoping that just maybe he had been taking it out for a spin the other times I had been by and it would be there. It wasnt and I thought maybe he wasnt there anymore either. My heart just sank.

Sometimes I wonder if my imagination just runs wild. He may have put a for sale sign on it and another admirer snatched it up. I do hope this family that I dont even know is ok. I will keep looking at their home everytime I pass by.

Funny how the love for a car and the human spirit can bring so much emotion to your life.

Holly

2011-01-10T10:13:00.001-08:00

Today I want to introduce you to Holly Bryant Smith. She is a Certified Nurse Midwife at The Woman's Clinic. She definitely has set her part of the Clinic apart from the rest with exam rooms that are named after the different stages at Bonnaroo, her own personal music collection off of her ipod playing on the exam room speakers including John Mayer, Joss Stone, and of course Dave Matthews Band, and her one of a kind "hippie at heart" personality. She has succeeded in making it a non clinic type atmosphere.
We sat down for a little game of Q&A to get to know her better and share her with my friends. The meaning of this project was to show that there are great people out there. Some you may never meet. But they are there, willing to go beyond that extra mile to make a difference in our lives as well as their own. Here is Holly...
bkP: Tell me a little about your job.
H: I am a Certified Nurse Midwife . Part of my job is prenatal care, delivery services, well woman care, and postpartum care. This is actually my 10th year as a midwife.
bkP: So your job I know is very rewarding.
H: Oh yeah! It is an adrenaline rush. It would not be unusual to find me crying during a delivery, especially when dad starts to cry. Moms cry all the time but when Dad does I usually do too. There is something really cool about feeling a baby breathe for the first time in your own hands. I really believe that God put me here for this.

bkP: Growing up did you know this is what you wanted to do?
H: When I went into college I knew I wanted to focus on women's health care. After working in labor and delivery I knew that being a midwife was what I wanted. When I was younger, I wanted to be an astronaut. Space still amazes me to this day.
bkP: Who did you admire growing up?
H: My grandmother. She was the most patient woman I know. She lived next door to us growing up, and was a part of our everyday life. We were very close.

bkP: Do you see her in yourself?
H: I do when it comes to my job. That is probably where I show the most patience. She definitely influenced myself and my brothers.
bkP: Give me 3 words to describe yourself.
H: Real. What you see is what you get. Hippie at Heart. I know all of that is more than 3 words. Free Spirit.

bkP: Something on your bucket list . What is keeping you from doing it?
H: Skydive! I don't know why I haven't done it yet. I promise to do it before the end of 2011.
bkP: What is something you are most proud of?
H: My children. I think you can be proud of your children and then proud of what they become. I am very proud of them.
bkP: If you could give the world on piece of advice what would it be?
H: Carpe diem . Seize the day. Seize the day, but just stay out of trouble while you are seizing it!

You can't help but fall in love with Holly's infectious laugh and smile. She is right. What you see is what you get. After our interview she sent me this message.
One thing that I want to stress, what I do isn't always happy and joyful. There have been many times I've had to either tell a family that their baby is no longer alive or deliver a baby that never took a breath. Then I have to go in the room right beside them and immerse myself in the joy and happiness that is that family's reality without missing a beat. Those are the difficult and sad days...the days I sometimes have to retreat to my call room and get my cry out before continuing my shift. So with each birth I count it as a blessing , whether it is helping a family through a loss or rejoicing with a family with a screaming little fighter. It's ALL a blessing to me.

If you would like to nominate someone for this project please contact me at brandykphotography@gmail.com.

Keep Rockin

Make a Difference

2011-01-07T07:39:00.001-08:00

The phone call she has been waiting for all day comes. Suddenly grief stricken as the words she never wanted to hear are said, "I'm sorry but it is cancer."

You can only imagine what goes through her mind not only at that moment but every moment until it is time to hurt no more. There are good days and very, very bad days. One day an emotional breakdown had caused her eyes to be swollen, her nose red and she had a look of tiredness all over from crying all day. She tried to hide her pain behind sunglasses as she stood in line to get the few items she needed for her family.

When it was her turn at the checkout the cashier reached out, touched her hand and said "Honey, I don't know what is going on but I want you to know you are loved."

The lady was my friend and she told me that was so comforting to hear at that moment. I don't know who the lady was behind the counter but I would love to meet her and hug her for making my friend have a few moments of peace. She was a stranger and did not know my friends circumstances.

I believe that there are some people that do more than just make it through this world. They make a difference. This cashier did for my friend.

I am introducing you to some of these people in 2012. My first interview and portrait session is with Holly Bryant Smith. A lady who truly sees the miracle of life every single day.

Keep an eye out for her story next week.

If you would like to nominate someone for this project please feel free to email me at brandykphotography@gmail.com.

Keep making a difference

2011-01-06T10:57:00.001-08:00

pssst...I heard a rumor

Gerry Rafferty

2011-01-05T05:54:00.000-08:00

Singer Gerry Rafferty, famous for the 1970s hits "Baker Street" and "Stuck in the Middle With You," which was used in Quentin Tarantino's film "Reservoir Dogs," has died, his agent said Wednesday.

He was 63. A cause of death was not given.

Although Baker Street was awesome and has a great meaning this is my all time favorite Gerry Rafferty song...RIP Gerry.

Keep Rockin

Vivian Maier

2011-01-04T14:31:00.000-08:00

Vivian Maier’s street photography was recently “discovered” just a few days after she died at the age of 83. The Chicago nanny took over 100,000 photographs and many say she may rank among the top street photographers of the 20th century.

Its amazing how things are seen differently. Thank you Vivian.

Goodbye 2010 Hello Twenty Eleven

2011-01-03T05:46:00.001-08:00

2010 was a great year for bkP. I stepped out and left my full time position as an office manager of 7 years. I have been truly amazed and blessed at the response from my work.

2011 holds new things for bkP as well as a Photo 101 class for Moms that have one of nice cameras they are just really not sure how to use, speciality sessions just for little girls and little boys, TONS of weddings and events, spring time animals, senior teams, sessions for the troops, 2nd Annual Halloween Charity Food Bash, and of course we cant forget Santa! This is just a handful of surprises in store for us.

I hope 2011 is healthy, happy and prosperous for you. I truly believe everyone is a star. Its just up to you to shine.

I look forward to seeing you shine!

Here is one to say farewell to 2010

You may thank me for the jam....Until then

Keep Shining

Letters to Santa

2010-12-12T12:21:00.000-08:00

Its that time of the year....I want, I want, I want. Cam wrote her letter to Santa early. A couple of days later she wanted me to get it out of the mailbox because she wanted to add more to it. When I told her the mailman picked it up she said, "We are gonna have to write another one!"

While cleaning the other day I found a letter my oldest wrote to Santa when she was about 6 or 7. She stopped believing not long after this because she had heard it at school. Here it is typos and all.

Dear Santa,

My name is Rachel and I want to tell you I have been a god big gril. This is want for Christmas. I want a big stuff animal with some clothes that I want it to stand on its hands and feet like this and I want the animal to be a dog.

Yes bring me these things. And I want a shirt that says Rachel is the prettyest gril on earth and one more thing is rwedolf real or not write me a note on the back of the paper please write no or yes and circle. And you can bring me anything you want to bring me.

I love the excitement the kids have at this age. Make it special for them because it wont be long before they stop believing.

Enjoy a little Chuck

Merry Christmas from Corey, Brandy, Rachel and Cam.

Keep Rockin er...uh ...Runnin Rudolph

Colors of the Wind

2010-12-12T05:40:00.000-08:00

I hate it when my children learn lessons too early in life. It seems either they are getting older or the world is changing much faster than it did for me as a teenager. I am however proud of how they handle disappointment, fear, and rejection because I was not that good at it at that age.

My oldest daughter wanted a part in the school play...a lead role too mind you...way out of her character. She memorized her lines the first day they handed out the scripts and even (on her own) searched for youtube videos of the Broadway shows so she could get her voice and mannerisms in check. I was so proud of her for wanting to come out of her shell.

She didn't get the part. She got stuck with lights, which is an important part of the play. Ok I am not going to sugar coat it, LIGHTS? CMON! I called her just as soon as her Dad picked her up from school to find out and I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

She says it doesnt discourage her from trying out again for a part in the next play coming up and I did tell her that I have friends who work in the music industry that do nothing but lights. Their job is on a much larger scale and full of pyro too but its a similarity. That did get a smile out of her.

Colors of the Wind is her favorite song. She sings it all the time and probably doesn't realized it is written about, plainly said, disappointment. I am proud of the young lady we have raised. I strive to be more like her everyday.

Keep Rockin Roxanne...I love you

Time in a Bottle

2010-12-09T08:51:00.000-08:00

There are somethings that I can remember so vividly from my childhood. Some I wonder if I made up along the way and are false memories. I do remember watching the Muppet Show and loving it. As I have gotten older I have realized that the songs and sketches that I thought were so cool are some of the most beautifully written songs ever that I appreciate more now. This one makes me bawl my eyes out every time I hear it. I love my family dearly and the thought of the sands of time passing by so quickly scare me to death. The thought of my children growing up and leaving home has kept me up at night as well as the thoughts of cancer rearing its ugly face back in our family. Here is a beautiful song by Jim Croce that was on the Muppet Show. Dont only watch the video but listen to the words. I so wish I could stop the sands of time.

You may thank me for the jam. Until then...

Keep Rockin

Seeing Love

2010-12-01T10:57:00.000-08:00

My gosh it has been a while. A long while.

It seems like here lately there have been a long line of brides at my studio door. 2011 is going to be a magical year for weddings for sure. So many brides with so many different personalities and the engagement sessions are always so fun.

Just the way they look at each other...its amazing to just see love. See it in her smile, his laughter, and their body language. Sometimes if the groom to be seems nervous or unnatural I ask him to look at her and tell her the thing that made you fall in love with her. I always feel my eyes start to tear up when he says her eyes or her smile. I am so proud to be a part of their engagement.

This time of the year also brings families to my door wanting portraits made for Christmas cards. There are some families I have seen that are truly blessed. Sometimes when the sun is behind the rays seems to shine right through them. Its almost like I caught God shining down on them.

Then there are babies that only grin when Mom is behind me acting silly. Their eyes follow their mom's every move and there are times when I look at their portrait I can see their eyes shine and this feeling of joy on their face when they see their parents behind me.

Love is everywhere. I do believe it can truly not only be felt but seen. It is something that cannot be understood always. Look for it. Actually see it. Do you feel the love man? I sound like an old hippie today but I can see it every time I look at your portraits.

Here is a little old fashion Love from Mr Cole...Until then

Keep Rockin

Fall Fun

2010-11-07T20:04:00.000-08:00

Been trying to critic my fusion videos...here is another practice run

Im Too Fast for You

2010-10-22T17:28:00.000-07:00

This was Cameron's fourth year at the Donnell Century Farm and it was like the first time she had been there. She loved being around the other kids from school in a different environment and I had a great time too. She especially loved the animals and baby goats.

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

I'm glad I snuck in a day off to spend with her.

Nasty Boys

2010-10-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

Everyday except the weekends I post a babe of the day and a quote preferably what she said on my Facebook page. Today's babe of the day is Janet Jackson. Laughing while quoting my favorite line, "No my first name aint baby, It's Janet...Miss Jackson if your nasty" I looked up the video to post as well and watching it I was taken back in time to the 80s. High shoulder pads and ahhh yes I wore my heavy house key on my big hoop earring strategically placed in just one ear. I have always had a diverse love of music. I could listen to Janet's music and move on to Dokken in the next fast forward of the mix tape I made with my blue jam box. I remember holding it right up next to the speaker of my radio to record usually missing the first few bars because I wasn't ready and then hearing my sister bust up in my room and me saying SHHHH I am recording! Just like I worked in my own radio station.

Here it is. Gimmie a Beat! You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Reality Bites?

2010-10-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking alot about reality tv here lately. Don't ask me why. I think at one time the whole world was fascinated by watching someone else's life unfold on television. The emotions, the happiness, the sadness, we just couldn't stop watching. Then we find out that most of those "reality" tv shows were scripted. Whose life isn't more interesting with a little pizazz right? Makes for good tv. Every morning at 6:00 and 6:30, I watch Gene Simmon's Family Jewels. Its obvious that the show is scripted but I still like to watch it and I don't watch much tv at all. If you think about it most of our lives are scripted anyway so I don't really see what the big deal is. I like to watch it because Mr Simmons and I both have hair brain ideas sometimes and get bombed out when they don't work. But you have to bomb a few times to get to greatness. I'm waiting....

So all of this brain knocking got me thinking about true reality. The kind of reality I get to photograph. Photographing weddings for example; a true reality. The beginning of their lives together. Seeing the mother cry, the bride's father looking more nervous than anyone in the room and that take your breath away moment when she walks down the isle. That is reality. They will soon start their own families and one day give their own daughter away in a similar church. I was there. I got to see it.

Or how about engagement sessions? Some couples act as if I am not even there. Some so giddy from being in love and boasting about their expectations for the big day. Telling me how they met. How he knew she was the one. I was there. I got to see the big grins when no one was looking and the stolen kisses when I was checking my lighting.

How about boudoir? The ladies grin and grin. They talking about real issues with their bodies. What they really like about it and dislike. We talk about him and how wonderful he is. We talk about their careers, the things that make them feel young and I realize there are truly beautiful people in this world. I was there. I heard her say I made her feel beautiful.

Children's photography is special. Very special. I can hear mom and dad laughing over and over behind my back. Trying to get out that smile. I hear them call her a pretty girl or a big boy and the child just looks at mom like she is the best person in the world. Dad gets special looks and grins much more different than mom does. I was there. I saw the big smiles when mom brings out their favorite toy.

There has been something special about every session I have done. The seniors will one day go on to another phase in their life and the family sessions will one day change so much I hope they can look back and see what they use to be.

I see reality everyday and I am glad I run my own television show. Yes some of it may be scripted but it still far more a reality than what we see on tv. Tomorrow a true reality will be documented. My first child birth. I will be one of the first people to see a little girl brought into this world. That is reality.

I couldn't find a song about reality but I did find one good one by U2 that was on the Reality Bites soundtrack. You may thank me for the jam... Until then

Keep realizing we are life, we are love, we are reality.

Things That Make Me Smile

2010-09-29T10:27:00.001-07:00

Funny what is considered an oldie now...thanks Kool 103 for making me feel ancient! I thought I would share since it is so close to Halloween and that ghostly like woman looks funny prancing around. You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Things That Make Me Smile

2010-09-21T11:02:00.001-07:00

While waiting for a file to upload to my supplier I decided to browse a little on you tube. This video was posted as the top favorite. Between the dogs, the props, the music and the guys who look like they work in a mental institution I bet it will make you smile too.

The more I looked into it, it is not just a goofy video. They primarily used rescue animals, not Hollywood stunt dogs. Their message?

Help us support animal rescue efforts at the ASPCA. www.okgo.net/dogs

Here it is White Knuckles by Ok Go. You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Smiling

Meet n Greet

2010-09-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

I am realizing that I am getting older. Older as in at that stage when I thought my mom was ancient. I slather on the face cream at night and during the day, I see my hair starting to thin out and I wear out so easily. I really feel it when I photograph young families or clients and they say yes mam. I do embrace my age though. I realize more and more each day that each day is a gift and I should absorb every hour, every opportunity, every new experience. I think one of the things I love about my job more than anything is meeting the people I do. Everyone has a story. Everyone has experienced something different than I have. Maybe they are older or younger but I enjoy talking and listening to my clients. You never really know a person until you listen.

I have blogged about listening before but its not just the listening, it is the getting to know. I have met some great people just by listening and had so many new opportunities just by being social and willing to meet new people.

The other day I carried my daughter to the grocery store with me and she walked the whole time with her head down. (I have blogged about that before too) I halted the cart and asked her why she was holding her head down and she said she really didnt realize she was. So we had a little fun. I told her to greet everyone we passed and smile. Her face was red as a beet when we were finished and we got some his back but not many. Maybe they are in a shell too.

Hold you head high, listen and be happy with who you are. Who YOU are. Smile at the next person you meet and get to know a stranger (not the ones lurking in the alley ways). You never know how many wonderful people are walking this earth with you.

How about some Grand Funk Railroad to wrap this up? You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Make Me Smile

2010-09-07T07:57:00.000-07:00

I had a great holiday weekend! There are lots of things that make me smile, laugh and enjoy life. Here is a short list of just the things from this weekend.

1. The Gold Strike! A beautiful casino hotel in the middle of NOWHERE!
2. The crisp air (I love this weather)
3. 1st successful Eye Candy tour
4. Meeting two great girls from Arkansas
5. The Jersey Boys - Holy Moly if you love 60s music you would've loved this show! I was just amazed at how much the little guy sounded like Frankie Valli
6. Singing at the top of my lungs (that's kinda nasty if you think about the top of your lungs)
7. Winning money on the first bet and cashing out immediately (I am not a good gambler)
8. Riding the elevator with Frankie Valli and talking to him about music
9. Holding my husbands hand
10. Seeing my daughters after a night away
11. Photographing a one of a kind baseball wedding at a game
12. Seeing the groom cry when he sees the bride for the first time.
13. Hearing all the congrats from the crowd that had no idea they were attending a wedding as well as the last game of the season.
14. The humbleness of the bride and groom
15. Sleeping in my own bed

This is just a handful of the highlights. I could make an even longer list of the things that worried me about spending a night away from work and my children but we will stick with the good stuff. I have to say I really enjoyed myself. What made you smile this weekend? Hey what makes you smile every day? Sometimes its just the little things that will make the entire day... Here is a song about smiling. Until then...

Keep Grinnin

I Wanna Be A Roadside Family

2010-09-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

Its been a while. I have been so busy! Not complaining mind you but very busy. This morning while being forced to sit still for over an hour I decided it was time I had some family portraits made myself. I am always behind the camera and NEVER in front of it. I carried a magazine with me to keep myself entertained and stumbled across an article on Roadside Families project. I am way behind on my reading for sure and I am going to give it a whirl and excited to find a victim.

A couple of months ago awful thoughts went through my mind of losing my husband to cancer, my oldest daughter is changing daily and my youngest, well, she is still as crazy as ever. So I am excited to have my own made. We need them made as a family.

One of the rules is I cant photograph the photographer back if I do that ends the chain. Its gonna be fun! Whether you hire a professional photographer or get a friend to "shoot" your family take time to have it done. Its getting cooler and the leaves will be changing soon. The perfect time to catch the kids at those crazy stages and the entire family. Grab the whole clan and have a legacy session done as well! Ok, who is ready to shoot? I will make sure when we have ours made I will post them for all to see. Share yours as well! I would love to see your families!

Until then...

Keep Rockin

I Want Candy

2010-08-21T12:58:00.000-07:00

Saturday mornings brings the weekly trip to Wal-Mart. Well it seems like I go daily but this is the big trip. If I can catch it at the right time of day I can carry my youngest with me without screaming, crying, and/or formal apologies to Sam himself.

Today was a good day but not for the lady in front of me in line. The longest line ever. Her kids were screaming and acting crazy. The kind of kids you say to yourself if that was mine...but if you have been there your thinking poor lady. Inside I was shaking my head thinking, "I feel you honey. I have been there and still am sometimes."

Waiting and waiting for the slowest cashier in AMERICA the line slowly moved forward and as she finished putting her groceries on the counter she reaches over and slipped in a Symphony bar. She carefully hid it under a loaf of bread.

Now obviously a Symphony is not a kid or hubby candy bar, so I was assuming it was for her. I could imagine her, after the kids are in bed, relaxing while enjoying her hidden little treasure. Almost a perfect commercial.

There has always been this thing with women and chocolate. I actually read somewhere they think it may lower your blood pressure. So way to go lady! I am really happy that you have found a way to relax or at least I want to believe that is what you are doing. So grab a candy bar today and relax.

Here's a song about candy for all you chocoholics...Until then

Keep Rockin

Eman or Bfan?

2010-08-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

I listen to Kool 103 religiously while I edit, well pretty much all day...the kids make fun of me for it too. They sing in harmony around the house Koooool 103. I go through phases though. Next month I may be on a Dokken kick so who knows. For those of you that don't know Kool 103 is an oldies station and I get tickled when they play an "oldie" that was big when I was a "youngie".

I said all of this to say this...Someone once told me your either an Elvis fan or a Beatles fan so for some reason I tend to pay more attention when one of the two artists are on...almost too much. I pay attention more to the lyrics and melody than usual. This morning "Another Day" was on. I know its not Beatles but it is Sir Paul so it counts in my book in this dilemma.

Most Elvis songs in my opinion are swooning songs and Elvis was a dirty bird! Beatles (or for sake of argument all members songs) music seems to be more artistic to me. The lyrics, the melodies are nothing like the other music of their time let alone music of this time. As much as I love a bad boy (with awesome hips and great lips might I add) I think I have to say I am a Beatles girl...problem solved.

Wait Elvis did wear some awesome clothes and was one fine hunk of burnin love! Out of all of the awesome songs from both artist I chose Another Day to relate to the every day life of some. Step out of your shell guys. If your sitting at your desk right now just waiting for lunch time to get up and move around just scream out bkP rocks...that'll shake em up and for poops and giggles figure out what kind of person you are. Beatles or the King or Rock n Roll?...Until then

Oh yeah, you may thank me for the jam. Man, I woulda been a good hippie.

Keep Rockin

The Army Growith!

2010-08-02T19:24:00.001-07:00

It has been 3 months full time and things are going great. I have actually had to turn away some business due to a booked schedule which absolutely killed me! So I came up with a plan...imagine that. Stephani Foster, like one of my all time besties had put her camera on the shelf due to the stress of working a full time job and shooting full time. She is coming out to help me! I think alot of people think that once you do a portrait session the work is over. There is marketing, answering emails and calls, editing (or I like to call it tweaking), mailing, shooting, ordering and then on top of that you have the mom job too! I'm sure I left some things out. It is very stressful trying to manage both or let alone all three.

So I am thrilled to announce that Stephani will be my number one shooter for my weddings. No longer will you hear the "I'm so sorry I am booked that weekend." answer. My weekends are booking up so fast, matter of fact every weekend for the rest of this year is already booked! Stephani has a very similar style to mine and we can so rock your wedding day!

We do understand as a team there are events that don't deserve a robotic answer or package and we want to give you the best possible photographer team around! You will still get a one of kind ROCK THE FROCK session along with those cheezy poses that mom and grandma wants but we will do some fun stuff too,

The army is growing....world domination in T-minus 1001 days and counting.

Couldnt find a decent song about the Army that I havent already used so I looked for wedding music...I have heard this one a thousand times at weddings and my husband and I sang it on our wedding night so it is fitting. When You Say Nothing at All Keith Whitley version, Allison rocked it but Keith was the man and he had awesome hair...You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Callin

Lady Luck is Waiting Outside the Door

2010-07-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

I have always said this blog would only be positive and about music, photography or lifting someone up but I am faced again with a battle I have faced before. Before it was a situation I was close to but could escape from and cry when I left their home. I watched my step father and a friend whither into nothing right in front of my eyes over a very short period of time. I let it consume me, almost take over my life. This changed me...I am afraid I will never be the same and now I am told my husband of 6 years has the same scary disease known as cancer.

Its really scary how they have rushed everything. I have had these brief moments where I forget and then all of a sudden reality hits again. He had surgery yesterday to try to remove it. We were pushed through like cattle in a huge waiting room at 6am with tons of other scared looking cows. After 14 hours at the hospital we were sent home. I don't even know where to begin to describe what that was like.

I am scared but I gave all day yesterday to cancer. I have given a lot of time and a lot of tears to cancer and to be honest, Cancer SUCKS. I will not let it win or take things away from me. Cancer took 14 hours of my day yesterday, that's fine...I will give you one day but other than that? You can kiss my a@#. I am done crying over you and you don't deserve another tear out of my eye. I may have my moments where the stress will get the best of me but I am upset to see my family hurt not the fact that you might have one up on me.

So lets do this thing...I have my husbands back and tons of family and friends that have mine. They are strong just like me and we will take you down. Our new theme song is I'm Winning. I'm winning and I don't intend losing again...You may crank up the jam and thank me.

Keep Fightin

Songs About Me

2010-07-21T15:12:00.000-07:00

Well its been almost 3 months full time and business is good! I hit the ground running every morning at 6:00ish (according to how late I stayed up the night before) and don't stop until 10:30 or 11. Which every one gets here later.

I have been so lucky to have booked up every single weekend for the rest of the year and a full schedule during the week! I have had tremendous support from friends and clients who are now friends. Every day I turn around the phone is ringing or emails are coming in. I have to say I am one lucky gal. I do have to say that I am alot busier than I ever thought I would be-I guess I didn't have the confidence in myself. Like I said, I am one lucky gal.

I have had some ideas that didn't work out but hey I had more that did. The boudoir tour kicks off soon and I am thrilled to start it. I definitely want to see more places in 2011 and meet more awesome ladies. Weddings are coming up and a lot of family sessions are already booked for the holidays. My big Save the ta-ta's fundraiser is coming up. Halloween will bring another fundraiser and I am hoping Santa will show to surprise some kids.

On top of all of the wonderful things happening there have always been set backs but I am positive that everything will fall into place with the love and support from my friends and family.

Thank you all for making it possible to be me. Here is a little country for you...I know its not me but its a Song about Me and Trace is easy on the eyes. You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Life is Like a Video

2010-07-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

I have had a lot of windshield time here lately. I love to travel and see new things. Of course I pick out a CD from the shelf to listen to on the way there and back for different trips. Its almost like putting me in a trance to be prepared for the road ahead. Linkin Park Reanimation has come out of the archives for this last trip. Not all albums you can listen to from beginning to end over and over, this happens to be one of my favorites. My youngest daughter calls it robot music.

Sometimes the world just seems like a video from my truck. Its almost like I am protected by that metal and glass enclosure from the rest of the world. I can make my own world on the inside that I can control. The video gets really neat when it starts to play in unison with the CD I have loaded. Passing by a farm, the crop rows seems to appear with the beat of the music. Birds are diving and dancing across the skyline to the beat. A man walks the cross walk in front of me and he is walking to the beat of the drums. Even the cars seem to all travel at the same speed sometimes and I wonder if at that moment everyone is in the same trance I am in.

I figure by writing this your either nodding your head in agreement or thinking...whoa. My world can definitely use some Armor All and a good vacuuming at the moment but it still has some good jam. The fact that I am incorporate that into a long trip to keep myself entertained I think is kinda cool.

In the End, it doesn't even matter as Linkin Park would say. You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Pink Windows

2010-07-03T04:49:00.001-07:00

I am stupid crazy with schedules. I know, I know you thought I was laid back. Its one of my pet peeves with the kids. They seem to "do" better with schedules. If its time to get up and get ready lets do it. If we go out have to be back by 8pm to get the kids in bed.

Cameron was lollygagging around yesterday morning while I was trying to get her ready and I fussed at her to get it in gear. She closed her eyes so tight her nose crinkled up and she said pink windows, pink windows, pink windows. Of course I laughed out loud and asked her what in the world are you doing.

She said when she closes her eyes she sees pink windows and it makes her happy. So what did I do? I closed my eyes. I laughed because even though I wasn't looking at the window in the room I could still see the outline of it when I closed my eyes and if you look hard enough it is a pinkish reddish color. She found her happy place.

There are times in my life that are so stressful, sometimes things bother me that shouldn't and I still have not learned when to give up on some people that disappoint me over and over. The latter one is the worst. Maybe one day I will cope better with disappointment because I sure don't want to give up on them. I will start to look for the pink windows. Thank you Cameron. It might be a better world if we all look for them. Not while driving of course!

I couldn't find a song about pink windows but I found Pink! One of the lyrics is "Close your eyes and trust it." You may thank me for the jam...Until then.

Keep Rockin

Flightless Bird

2010-06-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

The way I work and transform myself into rockstar photographer it consumes a lot of my time. All-Star Softball season has kicked in and the games are all the same time I work. I miss so much because of work, its a crazy balance!

Roxanne is a vampire fan and I can actually sit still long enough to watch the movies with her. ( I think that pale Cullen boy is fine!) Softball games in the way, going to her grandparents for the weekend, me working in the evenings, sometimes it is just all too overwhelming and too busy to sit down. She had been telling me she wanted to do something special just ourselves.

I got up my courage to stay up past 10pm and bought two tickets to the midnight showing of New Twilipse...just kidding...ECLIPSE. I knew it would be something she would want to do and it would definitely be just us two out of the family. Something she would remember for sure. She told me all the way there how excited she was and told all her friends that just she and I were going together. It makes me smile to see her smile.

I believe that I was risking much needed beauty sleep or maybe even the dark circles appearing under my eyes today but it was worth it to spend time with her. She will be grown in no time.

One of my favorites Iron and Wine released a song for Twilight, Flightless Bird, American Mouth. If you read the lyrics you will think what in the world! There has been much controversy over the meaning of the song some say it is a political song (which I can see), some a love song.

I want to believe when I interpret it, it is this crazy beautiful love song. A song that takes you from childhood, to losing her, to past the honeymoon and a future together. A flightless bird is grounded. I want my big pill to stick going down when I think of the time passing. (lyric from the song) Just like everything else in this world it is up to how you see it. You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Circle of Life

2010-06-24T06:03:00.001-07:00

I haven't written in a while. I have spent so much time traveling, working, thinking it seems like it is all cramming my head full of information...sometimes useless but information none the less.

Today since I am self employed I got the opportunity to watch my daughter in a production of The Lion King. Before I would've been looking at my watch and tapping my foot thinking I have so got to get back to the office before I get behind. I did have 9 messages when the play was over but I was prepared.

I had time to relax. I knew the play was coming and got semi caught up on work enough so I didn't have to tap my foot. I enjoyed it so much. I watched my daughter as a young lady and during the last scene I cried. Gosh she is turning into such a lady and it was like she was just grown in front of my eyes. She took on the role as a Momma Hyena and she had a baby to take care of. I don't even want to talk about what all went through my mind at that point. Listening to the words of the songs I knew by heart I smiled. She use to watch the movie as a toddler.

After the production of course I gave her the thumbs up like "You rocked it!" and then she took her mask off and looked like a little girl again. I want it to stop right there. I love you Roxanne. Wewe ni Rockstar.

I hope the Circle of Life I started continues on with even bigger rockstars. You may thank me for the jam...Until then.

Keep Rockin

Young Forever

2010-06-21T05:50:00.000-07:00

I never think of myself as old. I remember when my mom turned 30 the place she worked at threw her a party and she had a little gray in the sides of her hair. I remember thinking she was ancient.

I went back to Btown on Saturday for an event and bumped into so many friends. All of them looking exactly the same as they did in school but all of them introducing me to their kids that are in their teens. I still want to see my friends as the high school buddies I had in school not as adults.

Suddenly this rush of age creeped up on me and I smiled. I miss the youth from my past. I miss it dearly. I wish I could go back and have some redos. But I am proud of where I am today. I am proud of the fact that I am hopefully teaching my kids not to want redos. Do it all now enjoy the moment.

I don't think any of us realize the time that goes by until it...well, goes by. Take the time today to reconnect with an old friend, do something silly from your childhood, and don't forget to smile. Just because it is gone doesn't mean it cant be revived. I am forever young or is it
Young Forever Jay-Z? You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

The Unforgiven

2010-06-15T06:47:00.001-07:00

Musicians have written about it for years. Forgiveness is a part of being human. Its been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. Tugging your heart over to the side to make room for the ones that hurt you and continue to hurt you is not easy. Forgiving has been a word thrown around so much by others do we even really understand what it is to forgive?

As I get older I realize that some people are just driven a different way. There are some that feed off of hurting and some that I believe are too selfish to realize the things they do to others. Its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission right? What happens when you are stuck and don't want to forgive? Does that make you just as bad?

I am bigger than that. I believe if someone is genuine they would never intentionally hurt another and will take the time to make room in their own heart to tell you they are sorry. I believe that some people are and always will be immature also. I am not even sure they can help it. So while these people tell you stories and throw you daggers keep tugging your heart to the side and make room. I will keep smiling when I see you and keep forgiving, hoping that you don't realize what you are doing.

I never will forget seeing Metallica's video The Unforgiven . A small boy trapped in his own world and constantly torturing himself over the years thinking he was not worthy of forgiveness. Ask and give forgiveness today.

You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Breakin the Law

2010-06-12T18:53:00.000-07:00

One of the things I was taught was to always introduce myself professionally. I do forget time to time to personally do it but for the most part I try to remember. I was a bill collector many many moons ago and found an advantage by befriending the other bill collectors around because most of the time we were looking for the same person. Plus I met some pretty cool people along the way, some I am still friends with today.

I decided to have a photographer's mixer and introduce myself to all of the other professionals in the area. Some old timers, some new comers, and some in the middle. I will definitely be humbled in the presence of so many great professionals. I think it is a great opportunity to meet everyone and maybe even find a few people for my army. I am ready to build it. None the less it will be awesome to finally put some faces with names.

I was shocked at how many photographers I never heard of. There are some tucked away in the small corners of West Tennessee. You think there are so many how in the world can you ever make it. Then I think of how many dog gone lawyers offices are in downtown Jackson! They all have their own strategies. There are some people just go to because they trust them, some that people can afford, and some just people go to because they are convenient. I want to be the lawyer they love. The lawyer that rocks.

I am sure all the lawyers talk and maybe they have lawyer parties too. Why would they not talk to each other? I dont think it is a big secret what everyone is doing and I really hope it is the beginning to some really great friendships.

I tried to find a song about photographers mixers with no luck, but I did find a good one about the law . You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Who Do You Admire?

2010-06-09T15:17:00.000-07:00

I asked Rachel and Natalie to write a letter to someone they admire for today's assignment. Here's what I got typos and all

Dear Wonder Woman,

I admire you becouse I want to be like you you are perfect in every way. I want to be like you win I grow up. Is it true you like Batman or Superman and does black canerie and green arow are in love but they just dont show it? I watch Justice League every nike every summer with my dad. We stay up watching it till 1:00 in the morning! I love you and Justice League.

Your loyal #1 fan
Natalie

Dear Mom,

I admire you! Why? Because your beautiful. Your nice and awesome! Even when I get in trouble I know that you still love me! And also I know that I'm the luckiest girl on earth to have a mom like you! You are there for me at my softball games, when I get hurt, or wherever I am! And I love to babysit Cameron anytime for you anytime! And just remember I love you.

Love Rachel

Oh yeah shes buttering me up. Tomorrows assignment? List 100 uses for a tin can. That will keep them busy!

Couldn't find a song about admiration so here is one for the road...Until then

Keep Rockin

Dont Worry, Be Happy

2010-06-09T12:22:00.001-07:00

Today I was reminded of an exercise my daughter taught me a couple of years ago. She went to camp with a friend and they did all sorts of fun things but this one thing stuck with her and I thought it was the coolest.

The camp counselor asked them if they had something that was or had been bothering them. She handed them all a flat rock and asked them to write on the rock a code word that represented what it was. She said the counselor told each one of them to walk to the bank of the river, say a prayer and chunk that rock as hard as you could into the water. Releasing the worries and the pain. She told me about it as soon as I picked her up from camp.

I asked her what she wrote on her rock curious to know if something had been bothering her I wasn't aware of. She said she wrote Papa. He had passed away that year and as much as I had tried to hide my emotions it wasn't easy. I never realized it had upset her as much as it did. I wondered if I was really the one she was worried about. I had started to become someone else.

As soon as we got home I wrote Papa on a rock and chunked it into the pond in our front yard. Not to forget but to move on with my own family. It was time.

I wonder how many rocks were in that shallow water at the river. I hope it helped. I think its time for me to get out the sharpie and find some flat rocks to write on. I have a few things on my mind. Its time to chunk them in the water.

Here was a simple, goofy song about worries. You may thank me for the jam or hate me for putting this song in your head for the rest of the day...Until then

Keep Rockin

Can you hear me Major Tom?

2010-06-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

Of course I am at home with Rachel and Natalie (my niece) for the summer and they are bored. There is nothing on tv. I'm hungry. Can we go somewhere? What can I do?

I started making a list of things to do daily for them just like me.

Give the dog a bath
Sweep the garage
Start a new painting
Learn the lyrics to American Pie (the right ones and there will be a quiz later)

One of the things on today's list was write a letter to yourself in the future. Yeah I know but it keeps them busy so I can work.

Here they are, typos included

Dear Natalie in the future,

I am going to be a softball player will be on Rachel's team? I hope I will. Is there any flying cars, robots, superheros?

Signed Natalie in the past
*Nat is 9 by the way.

Dear Rachel,

Wow! Where do I start? Well I know this. I wonder if I will keep playing softball? I hope so! I know that me and Malory will still be friends! Has anything really changed? Will I ever be in the Hall of Fame? Bur what I do know is that I will always be with my family! Will I ever be the president or even a pro softball player? I hope my questions get answered someday!

Love, Rachel

Funny, they turned them into me like I was the teacher. By the looks of Rachel's she is buttering me up for something. 900 questions were asked but at least the tv was off for a while.

Tomorrow's list?

Dust
Windex
Name all the members ever of KISS (in alphabetical order)
Write a letter to someone you admire

Of course I will be shocked if both letters are not addressed to me. I wonder if they realize how fast the future will be here. It seems like 30 was old at one time. Nah just better.

Here is a Futuristic Jam for you when David Bowie was at his best. You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

bkP Army

2010-06-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

Its been a month and things are going good. I am booking weekday appointments which I never expected to be so busy at and getting a lot of work done. I am finally starting to get my work flow down. I am really excited.

I guess since I have slowed down a little I have realized some mistakes I have been making too. I am also beginning to see the people that have been taking advantage of my rock star status, so lonely at the top sometimes. Finding my weaknesses has not been easy, well lets say admitting. I have a list of things I need to work on. It seems like I never sleep. I am always thinking of another way to do things, a better way.

Sometimes it seems I am trying so hard to be a better person, a better photographer, a better mother, blah blah blah it just doesn't happen. Disappointment always sets me back. Disappointment in myself more than others.

I am beginning to wonder if I don't need a bkP army. I have all of these awesome ideas and I cant get ahead enough to put any of them in play. This army would be it. The go to place for photography. I would have my team of shooters that specialize in only the area that they are perfect in. The perfect wedding photographer, the perfect children's photographer, you get the idea. I would have my team of set builders. My team of editors. My team of marketers. My team would be so happy they would never dream of going to work anywhere else. They would be loyal to the original rock star. Oh yeah I need a video guy to record everything too. You cant just be on the team though, you have to be the best in your area.

I would also have a mentor program for the up and coming rockstars. We would do a lot of charity work and eventually tour the world helping others form their own army. Not just in photography but in any field. Teaching people how to work together to form little armies in everyday work and life. I gotta learn that one too.

One major problem, I have trouble asking people for help. I always want to do it all on my own or I am scared I will miss something. Gotta get over that one. I am 37, I still have plenty of time to conquer the world right?

Have a great Friday and enjoy the jam from Green Day...Until then.

Keep Rockin (Marching)

Rainbow in the Dark

2010-06-01T16:23:00.000-07:00

Funny I have always told my oldest when anyone dies the great things about him or her. I want them to be remembered. I think their lives should be reflected even if just for a brief moment.

Ronnie James Dio passed away on May 16, 2010. He died less than a year after being diagnosed with stomach cancer. 67 years old. A great span there Dio.

He was a heavy metal rocker with a heart of gold I hear. Not your average metal head. Of course metal was misunderstood at his peak I think by most adults. If you ever heard him sing you could recognize his voice. He was a powerhouse! It was almost like he was meant for opera. His songs were always about good overcoming evil and his onstage act showed the same. Slaying the dragon with his sword taking his audience back to medieval times.

He is also credited with inventing the devil horns hand gesture he mocked from his grandmother which she called the evil eye.

Funny how someone not known by many was such a great man in so many ways. A true Rainbow in the Dark. Hold your devil horns up high and clear your throats guys-Your gonna wanna sing along...Until then.

Keep Rockin (Remembering)

Another Brick in the Wall

2010-05-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

I went the other day to my daughters sixth grade graduation. I don't remember having a graduation ceremony after every single grade but I go with it.

The teachers look nothing like they did when I was in school. I can see how some would be an easy distraction for the boys in the class. They are young and gorgeous or I am getting old and ugly.

I smiled the entire time looking at the same kids I had seen every year grow. They didn't look like the chunky little kids they looked like in elementary school. The were all in that tall and lanky awkward stage now. All the girls looking down while they walked and the boys were all swishing their hair over to the side. I got so tickled at the trends.

As the ceremony went on I started to see my school class. I could point out the jocks, the band geeks, the flirts and the girls who are so beautiful that no one will ever notice them. I started to think to myself smiling, there is me; the girl with the pale skin and dark hair. A girl that looked just like me cutting up with her circle of friends instead of listening and I saw Lisa there too. (One of my best friends from high school). I started to see all of my friends. I saw the shy people that no one ever talked to. I saw the overweight kid that was thinking they will look past my weight if I make them laugh. I saw the outcast kids. They dressed different and wore dark eyeliner to make a statement. I saw the kids you worry about. I saw the girls that try to grow up too fast.

Funny how after 7 graduations (yeah there is one for kindergarten too) I am just now seeing us. Maybe its the tall, lanky stage that is throwing me off.

It was great to see all my classmates again even if it was all in my imagination. I remember when we were all the same, starting to become ourselves and then splitting into our little groups. Sad we didn't stay sixth graders forever.

Next time you go to your child's graduation look for me, I'm still there.

Here's a little ditty for the graduates "Another Brick in the Wall". You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Nothing Else Matters

2010-05-25T10:44:00.001-07:00

When I find something new or at least new to me musically I love to share it. Although most don't get as excited as I do I still like to share. I am a woman I have to, its in the rules.

I found Balmorhea through another photographer. I don't really seek out instrumentals (unless it is Satch) but I loved the music she had playing and looked it up on Pandora. Balmorhea led to this guy today. Scott Davis. An awesome pianist (funny word to say out loud). Awesome because he has "remade" some of the songs that I love.

His latest (well released in 2007) is an album that is a tribute to Metallica. METALLICA! Now I love Metallica and always have but in my younger days my parents thought they were spawn directly from the devil.

This guy proves to me that there is something beautiful in everything. Things that I always understood and I thought was arranged and written in such a great way are now understood as beautiful to others. I love that. I love it that people start to understand each other and the things that were not accepted before are today.

Thank you for opening your ears and understanding. I know I stress being yourself but isn't it great we are all the same in one way or another. I love that too. Nothing Else Matters is one of my favorite love songs. You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Where the Streets Have No Name

2010-05-24T12:18:00.000-07:00

I never get to watch what I want at home. I believe I have seen or at least heard every single episode of Spongebob there is. But there has been one for the past 6 years I have been dedicated to. I have actually fractured the law to make it home on time, panicked when I didn't set the DVR and gotten mad when I had to answer the phone while it was on. Lost has finally come to an end though.

The show was such a mystery and made you think about what was going on. Sometimes it was left up to you to interpret what was happening and even since the finale I am still explaining to myself what happened.

I know this sounds extremely corny but I cried through the entire 2 1/2 hour finale and felt peace at the end. The show ended with them all dying and going to their eternity together. Not like you think though. You have to see it to understand. This gang rush into heaven brought this overwhelming feeling over me of emotions. Almost satisfaction I have needed since losing some from my past and wondering if they are waiting on me to enter at the same time with them.

Even though there was greed, disappointment, betrayal, hatred and murder that happened on the island there was forgiveness and peace among them all in the end. The characters laughed and smiled when they realized that they were going home. Home being the eternity that was waiting for them not back to their everyday lives where they were miserable. They were no longer lost.

I do believe in forgiveness and second chances. I do believe that the decisions you make here will determine your home in the end. I just hope it is a big reunion with the ones gone before me and I am able to wait on the ones after me to blow the doors off of eternity and let everyone know the ORS has made it. I am not right about everything but there are some things I really want to be right about

Here are just a handful of rock songs with heaven in the title. I am sure there are tons more but these stuck out at me. Just because they are listed here doesn't mean they are all about heaven but like Lost they can be interpreted the way you want it to. According to my mom all songs are about drugs so I guess heaven could be a high too. Its all in you. Not what someone tells you to think or believe.

Heaven for Everyone -Queen
Heaven-The Talking Heads
Tears in Heaven- Eric Clapton
Stairway to Heaven-Led Zeppelin

There are several rock songs about the "high" -My fav is Where the Streets Have No Name. You may thank me for the jam...Until then.

Keep Rockin

Rubber and Glue

2010-05-19T06:12:00.000-07:00

I have realized in my life that some people will never accept you for who you are. Unfortunately that is proved to me quite frequently. Your either beneath them or above them. Why do people not see each other on the same level? As the old saying goes, "Everyone puts on the britches one leg at a time." How ever I have had some britches where I have had to lay down to button them.

I try my best to avoid these people or conflict with them but I refuse to conform. I am me. I will be me. Do note that I always treat other people with respect no matter what they think and I will be the first to say hi when I see these people out in public. I will keep walking though.

Yes that is a tattoo. Yes I did get married again. Yes I let my child make some decisions. Yes I quit my job to pursue my dream. Yes I color my hair. Yes we don't eat meat. YES! YES! YES!

I am not perfect. I know I am not. I make mistakes, lots of them. I think I disappoint myself more than others. The fact that I let you still bother me is one of the reasons I know I am not perfect.

One of the things I have taught my children is when the snide remarks are thrown your way or someone hurts you remember it. Let it be a lesson not to be that way towards someone else. You know now how they would feel.

So after this rant I am throwing up my Wonder Woman shield. Your rubber and I am glue, what ever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you! Thank you Joan Jett. I will not shave by head but next time I need to throw up the shield I will hum this to myself.

You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Talk to Me

2010-05-17T05:43:00.000-07:00

My daughter was in her first musical this past weekend. She has practiced so much my 3 year old is singing the songs, word for word. I am too.

I sat on the front row (camera in hand of course) and beamed with pride when she came across the stage. She was part of the musical chorus and always stood in the back where you could only see the top of her head and her ears every now and then. How do I know they were her ears? They were bright red. She had to have been so nervous. After the show I asked her why she stood behind everyone else; she said that she felt like everyone's eyes were right on her.

The first night I sat beside an ex family member and she told me all about her aches and pains, her family, her work, and her shopping. I smiled politely and listened. I have heard the stories so many times before but I listened. Well I pretended to. She talks alot, ALOT!

The second night I got there right before the show started and sat beside an elderly couple. The man leaned over and said you have someone in this show? Of course I talked about my girl and told him how good the show was. He told me he was retired. Loved it. He had worked for Procter and Gamble for 20 years and had a line of the world's worst jobs before then. During breaks and curtain he would talk about his son. How he was an only child and he had always wanted a daughter. He told me that his son had married a wonderful girl he considered his own. He told me he was there to support the kids in his church. He laughed and told me he had gotten a couple of free tickets and when your retired you go to anything free.

The 3rd night I had to work backstage. I felt so in the way and the kids looked at me like I was in the way! There was another lady that worked backstage with me. We talked about our jobs, our kids, relationships and the ones we had lost to cancer. Before the night was over we were both teary eyed and hardly able to speak anymore. Remembering the ones that are gone is still so hard for me and apparently it was for her to.

The 4th night I carried Cameron and missed most of the show. I am sure I dont even have to tell you why! By the end of the 4th show Rachel was out front and singing loud. Her ears were not red but that neck was blotchy like her Moms. I am proud of her.

Its funny the people you meet if you just give them the opportunity to talk. I think everyone wants to be heard. Hence the reason for this blog I guess. Sometimes it just seems like one story spills into another. I think it is great that some people will tell a complete stranger so much. I think people should talk to others. I think people should listen to others. You dont know me? Thats ok lets get to know each other. There are some awesome people out there, some boasting, some hurting; sometimes the same person.

Hey I am Brandy. It's great to meet you. The whole time I have been writing this I have been singing the line "Talk to Me" from Here Comes the Rain Again from the Eurythmics. You may thank me for the jam...Until then

Keep Rockin

Respect Yourself

2010-05-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

One of the best songs ever is "Respect Yourself" by The Staple Singers. Look it up, its good stuff.

I have heard from other artist that selective color is so 80s. I agree, but I have seen it done very tastefully. If its your thing go for it. I have heard other artist say that textures are killing the photography industry. I have seen it done so beautifully I don't see how in the world it is possible to "kill" the industry. I have heard from other artist, don't smooth the skin too much, whiten the teeth, pop the eyes all of it is wrong and makes the person look unreal. I have seen some taken to the extreme but if its your thing go for it. I think every single photograph should be in black and white, its my thing. I don't do it since all clients don't like it but I throw one in there every once in a while to make myself feel warm and fuzzy.

I don't think there is a right or wrong formula for art or anything in general. If its your thing, go for it. If you want to wear snowboots and your Dorothy costume from the Wizard of Oz to the grocery store, I say go for it. I have been seen with a 3 year old like that many, many times. If people are pointing at you or saying your doing things the wrong way who cares? You got this and hey they are talking about you right? Mission accomplished.

Everyone, listen to me now, EVERYONE wants to be noticed. I don't care if they are a famous photographer. They are in every magazine, they travel the world shooting beautiful weddings, or they are on tour showing us other peons how to shoot, they want to be noticed. Everyone does things differently but we are all trying to get to the same goal. I think one of the ways to get noticed is to notice yourself . Toot your horn. You know I am a firm believer in that. Be a little cocky!

Notice someone today for being different and say thank you when someone notices you. As the song would say, "If you don't respect yourself, ain't nobody gonna give a good cahoot!" Maybe it should say notice yourself...Until then

Keep Rockin

Passion

2010-05-07T04:33:00.001-07:00

I think when you are passionate about something, your passionate about it all the time. Not just when the mood strikes you.

I am passionate, besides the obvious, about music. You all know how I feel about it. Its something you feel. I don't claim to know everything there is to know about music, but I know alot. When I was younger I would record a song off of the radio with my sisters jam box and replay it on mine, stopping and starting, writing down the words so I would be able to sing along with them. I wanted to know more. I wanted to be able to be good at trivia. My husband shakes his head at me know because I will name a song as soon as it comes on the radio or Cd, without even hearing a single word. My daughter rolls her eyes when I tell her what the song means and how I feel about it. I call that passionate not crazy, that's what they call it.

I am very passionate about photography. I see things. Things I want to make come alive in a photograph. I was an "artist" in school. I would stare at a blank canvas and not be able to paint. If I looked at another picture I could "redo" it my way but I needed that picture to even start. It was like I was not creative enough to conger (I have no idea if that is spelled correctly) up something in my mind. It didn't make me feel like the artist I longed to be. I still look at other photographs for inspiration but I see things everywhere that inspire me on my own.

My canvas is everywhere. I have drug clients to locations and one guy actually said, "Here? Are you sure?" Of course! I promised him it would look macho when we were done. He raved about them after seeing them. That old rusty mill was my canvas, I just needed to put the canvas and the subject together.

I am passionate all the time. Are you? Maybe you need to be. Find the things that are important in your life and be passionate about them. It can be your family, your art, your faith; it can be all of those things thrown into one. Music and photography are not the only things I am passionate about but I sure am awfully fond of them...Until then

Just to confuse you even more here is some Passion

Keep Rockin

Its 9oclock Somewhere

2010-05-04T16:53:00.000-07:00

I did something today I have wanted to do for a long time. I walked. I walked 2.5 miles to be exact. My butt cheeks will probably remind me of that tomorrow. It was so peaceful and quiet. A chance to slow down, listen to Counting Crows, and just walk. I closed my eyes a few times and got lost in the song. Singing loud and then realizing there were other people around me walking too. I was in the middle of crazy town so I just blended in.

After 5 laps I started to notice the sun coming on full strength and I could feel my face start to get tight from the heat of the sun. I looked up right into the sun, with my sunglasses on of course and started laughing thinking about Shawshank Redemption. I was free and could feel the 9o'clock sunshine. Usually I was stuck behind a desk under filtered light that I swear kills a person quickly.

6th lap I started to notice that the young trees in the park seemed to grow or lean towards the sun. Of course I started to look deeper into it and noticed that the big trees just stood straight. The younger trees would actually lean around the bigger trees to get to the sun. Guess even the plants get filtered light too and sometimes just want to feel the sun.

I have noticed that trees that are planted around bigger ones seem to be stunted. Puny looking; sorta never really reach their potential. Ironic huh? I think even if you cant pick up roots and move in front of the big guy you can always step outside, put on your sunglasses, close your eyes and look up. Make sure it is 9oclock and don't stop until your face seems to get a little tight. Oh and make sure it is your morning break. It feels good...Until then

Keep Rockin

First Day

2010-05-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

Today was my first official day as a full time photographer. I know every day wont be like today but it was wonderful. I didn't sit around in my pjs. I got up, got dressed; heck this is my job! The phone rang, orders were placed,appointments were made, a couple of bones were thrown my way and I smiled all day.

I took the time to learn something new in photoshop. Something I needed to do a long time ago. Always in too much of a rush to get it done. Also realized some mistakes I made, not happy about that but glad I realized it now instead of later. I hate to make mistakes, hate it, hate it.

I started my 100 things journal. I cooked supper early, made an apple pie, and got all the clothes washed. I took the time to breathe. I took the time to play with my kids and tonight I took the time to see the fireworks for the Strawberry Festival opening ceremonies. I have lived here 7 years and this is the first year I have been.

It feels good to take it in. I do hope everyday is like today. I hope that people understand I do this as a trade aka I need to get paid. I hope my husband understands that sometimes I just have to do so things for the art of it. I hope the bones that were tossed at me were legit. I do get my hopes up. If I say I am going to do it, I do it. I have been let down a lot because I thought people had that same mentality.

Tomorrow, add walking and making the time to study. I keep telling myself I need a routine drawn out but there is no way I could stick to it today.

This is just meaningless rambling today but I am happy to share because I got this. I know I do. I am going to get my routine down, I am going to improve and I am going to take this place by storm. Everyone will be a rockstar before I leave this place, e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e! Let me know when I need to come see you...Until then

Keep Rockin

Survival of the Fittest

2010-04-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

Softball season has kicked in and I think I hit every back road between here and there searching for my tree or a new location to shoot at. I think I found my tree btw. We had a game the other night in Rutherford and I found so many cool locations along the way. An old yellow wall that use to be part of a gas station, an old junk yard that doesn't look like anyone has moved a thing in years, and the old (I guess you would call) downtown.

Passing through all of them of course I was scouting everywhere but on the way home it was pitch dark. I started thinking (imagine that). Those use to be vibrant businesses. I know that twinkle in their eye they must have had when they had the opportunity to open their dream business. I have it. I have heard before that if a business can make it two years you got it whooped. Some of those business looked like they had been around forever. I know the closing of the factories and people starting to move out changed things. I cant image their disappointment when they knew they had to shut the doors, without anyone telling them.

I have several friends that have or have had businesses and they always say, everything I make goes back into it. What is their mistake? Maybe they didn't reach high enough. I know there are two types of people, those who wait for it to happen and those who make it happen.

I have never been a waiter. Well, I was a waitress when I was in high school (ok bad joke). I am going to make it happen. I want to be successful. I don't want to loose my drive or become a cattle wrangler if you know what I mean. I want to enjoy the ride. I want to make art. I am ready to get started and I am bringing my A game.

Are you ready? Think about it, what kind of person are you? Are you waiting on that opportunity to come to you? Oh yeah its not always going to go your way but its going, right? If you make mistakes, learn from them. We all make them. Make it happen!...Until then

Keep Rockin

Roy Orbison

2010-04-25T18:20:00.001-07:00

The worst thing you can do or the best thing you can do is send me on a trip by myself. Alone with my thoughts and a good CD my mind is in constant overdrive. I shot a wedding Saturday and it was a good hour drive there. Singing as loud as I could to my Beatles CD and in perfect harmony as I might add, I knew it was going to be a great time. Eleanor Rigby and Yesterday played too many times.

I was looking so forward to it because it was a young couple. They were very outgoing and a lot of fun to be around so I knew it was going to be a blast. One thing, storms. Bad storms coming and all around us but I don't worry too much. I am not ready to go but if it is time, it is time so I try not to worry. But I have to say I was a little nervous.

I made my way to the front pew to get a good shot of the ceremony and a video was playing with pictures of the couple from their childhood. I could tell they both had a great family. I got emotional hearing old songs that were perfect for the setting. After the ceremony was over I rushed out to catch the brides last moments in the church before the reception. Out of nowhere an old friend caught my eye and we talked; talked about his family and times before. I miss his sister.

I was easily sidetracked to say the least. I made my way to the reception after shooting some candids of the bride and groom catching a moment. I shot the usual stuff the cake, the food, the decorations, you know details that a lot of hard work go into but it seems like no one really notices. They appeared and had their first dance. I cannot describe the way he looked at her in words. It was beautiful. The way every girl wants to be looked at.

Her grandfather asked her to dance next and he said something to her and she started crying. I caught it with the camera and then this overwhelming feeling hit me. I don't know if it was the words to a Beatles song, the storm, the memories brought up from the friend, the stress from getting "the shot" or what but the next thing I know I am in the bathroom crying. After I composed myself I hurried back not to miss a thing. What do you know? I guess I am human after all or the spirit of Roy Orbison was following me.

I am really a cool cat when it comes to emotion and so dead set on catching everyone else. Maybe I need to cry more often. Someone once told me that I didn't grieve right. I didn't know there was a right way to do it. I certainly didn't know the Beatles would make me cry.

Just to be on the safe side I listened to Jay-Z on the way home...Until then

Keep Rockin

Influences

2010-04-23T11:37:00.000-07:00

I had a hard time in high school finding myself, the real me. I was constantly influenced by other people. I think we all were that way. I don't mean influenced in a bad way. I mean influenced by discovering new things. Oh, you like Steppenwolf? Who is that? Let me listen. Influenced not only by music but a lot of things. Oh, you like art? Let me check that out. I was always open minded and curious. I realized at an early age that there are some really cool people in the world. People that can take you places and show you new things you may not have ever seen. Changing and molding me into who I am today.

I have had alot of those influential people stick with me too. A lot of things remind me of them even though I haven't seen them in forever. Some I will never see again, but I remember them. It seems like this strange connection to some. Almost like I was suppose to meet them or have them influence my life in a way that will never be the same. Sometimes they call or email out of the blue on the same day something happened to remind me of them. I like that.

Sometimes I panic thinking I have missed some things left for me and sometimes they just pop up out of nowhere. Sometimes they come in signs, names, pictures, or even in songs. I hope they don't stop.

I want to be that for my family and friends. I wonder if I am already. I am sure there are some things I say and do that my children will remember me for. Stupid things I say, things I do or music I introduce them to. Are you a reminder to someone? Maybe you should make it a point to be. We all wont have the city library or a stretch of highway named after us but we can start with an influence. Leave some signs and look for them too. They are unexpected smiles throughout the day for me...Until then

Keep Rockin

Meaningful Life

2010-04-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

I have heard that a meaningful life is one of the keys to happiness. Meaningful life...what exactly does that mean?

Meaningful as in good morals? As in making a difference? As in having this feeling that there is something bigger out there? Something that is meant for you to discover? Something that is bigger than you. When you get there what happens? Is the journey over?

I don't know or can't remember where I heard this but for some reason I have always thought once you reach that meaningful place the journey is over, as in bought the farm. Once you've reached that potential and there is no higher to go the world is done with you. I don't want to believe this is true. I have seen some only go half way there and kicked the bucket alot earlier than they should have.

Meaningful life to me means this feeling. A feeling that is almost indescribable, butterflies all the time, an overwhelming need to create, being passionate and this feeling of being wealthy. Wealthy as in wealthy with happiness, friends, family, love and laughter. Although it helps to have some jingle in your pocket! Its a feeling of self worth. Its a feeling of forgiveness and resilience. I know I ain't biting the dust just yet cause I still have problems with those two.

I am certainly not saying that being around me is like tip toeing through the tulips or riding a unicorn over the rainbow but I am working on it. I am finding my meaning and I certainly have butterflies. I also have this big smile plastered on my face. Here is a great link for you to read up on. 40 Benefits of Happiness thanks Ayo for sharing ...Until then

Keep Rockin

Journals

2010-04-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

While looking for my keys last night I found a diary I started about 3 years ago. I have always wanted to start a diary for my girls but my hand writing is terrible and for some reason it is just a pain to sit down and write.

When I found out my step father had cancer and his time was limited, I delicately asked him to start one. He had so many stories that were so far fetched there is no way any of them would've been real but I liked listening to them. I knew my girls would too one day. As far as I know he never did.

While reading over what I had written 3 years ago I kept thinking, I am still the same. I wrote about my photography, my love for my family and how I am hurting from losing people close to me. I know my photography has grown tremendously since then, my family is so much closer, and I still hurt but I can talk about my loss without crying and coming to pieces. I am looking forward to growing even more.

My husband told me the other night, "May 1st, when you go full time, you need to start a journal on your photography." Smiling I said yes; guess he hasn't read The Original Rockstar. Its therapy even if no one is reading. Its a motivator for myself and keeps me on a positive path.

Start your own journal. Blogs are free and easy to start, if I can you can. Make sure you write something motivational or positive everyday. Don't use it as an outlet to lash out at someone. Take that emotion and make it positive. I am not always a positive person but this blog has helped me stay on a good path, its not nice to publish something ugly...Until then

Keep Rockin

Unexpected Thank Yous

2010-04-20T07:34:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about my job are unexpected things. Unexpected grins from a newborn baby, unexpected laughter from a couple, capturing unexpected beautiful light are just a few examples. One of the other things? Unexpected thank yous.

A few days ago, while sitting at my desk, a man peeked into my doorway. He politely told me that he was the grandfather of a handful of wookies I had photographed last year. The mom's went in together and gave him an album of the session as a Christmas present. He went on and on about how he looks at the album all the time and just smiles. He said he was so proud of it when he got it as a gift. He told me thank you.

He didn't have to go out of his way to thank me but he did. I smiled for the rest of the day. Go out of your way to say thank you to someone today. I bet they will smile for the rest of the day too...Until then

Keep Rockin

Fannie Lieber

2010-04-19T07:48:00.001-07:00

I love Will and Grace. I have seen every single episode. I mean that; every single episode at least twice and I still laugh as loud as I possibly can when I watch it.

One episode was with Fannie Lieber (sound familiar?). She is a famous photographer and Will wins a session with her. Of course he carries Grace and they are so excited at the opportunity to have Fannie shoot their session.

Grace says: I love her! She is so edgy. She's genius. She once took a picture of Martha Stewart when she wasn't selling anything. She looked so vulnerable. I just wanted to hug her but I couldn't, cause she's Martha Stewart, you know.

When they got to Fannie's studio they were so nervous to meet such a famous photographer let alone be included in her new book that was to be released. When she appeared they were disappointed. Grace actually said she was like a sad clerk at Blockbuster. She disappeared to "reload." When she appeared again she was WILD! She starts giving out orders on how to pose, gimme this, gimme that. Yelling, music blaring, chest out, lower, lower, lower and she passes out while they are there, all within a few minutes.

Of course they had been in the presence of photography royalty so they go with it. When the envelope finally arrives with their picture from the session, Will is not happy with how he looks. He decides to ask for a reshoot. Fannie is surprised because she has never been asked for a reshoot but she goes with it. After seeing their portrait from the reshoot Grace is not happy with how she looks and they go back for a second time.

Of course wild, eccentric Fannie is tired of it by now and says she is not doing a reshoot. Upset that they are so consumed with their looks she tells them they need to have a baby and get out of her life. They look at each other laughing and then think seriously about it. Fannie shoots really quickly and it is the shot. The one shot that truly shows who they are and how they feel at the moment.

I can relate to Fannie. Not that I am wild and eccentric, although I have been called both but true emotion is sometimes hard to catch. You have these ideas that set you apart from others or at least want to be set apart, but you still have to capture a true look in your photography. One of my favorite things about a session is when I ask him to look at her. They both giggle and smile instantly. No need to say anything else. Its ok to have a good time having a session. Its ok to laugh and talk to the photographer. Its ok to walk around. Its ok to not smile. True emotion is not always shown when directed.

And I can certainly relate to the passing out! I did that Sunday after my maternity session. Guess we all need to "reload" sometimes...Until then

Keep Rockin

Catching the Robin

2010-04-16T07:17:00.001-07:00

When I was little my parents told me if I sprinkled salt on a robin's tail he would turn around to eat it, be distracted and I could catch him. Never realizing if I could get that close I could catch him anyway. So if you remember me running around the yard with a salt shaker when I was younger that is probably what I was doing, not taking tequila shots.

I have sprinkled a lot of salt since then. Salt on wishes, trust, and love just to name a few. Hoping to catch them. Even though at times in my life the those things had let me down I still tried. I have wondered sometimes if I tried too much. I wonder sometimes if I want too much.

(A little side note on my relationship with robins) My cousin knocked a robin's nest out of a tree when I was little and I didn't stop him. The eggs broke and when I told my parents they said I was just as guilty because I did nothing to stop him. They also told me robin's were mad at me. Every time one landed in the yard I was scared to death, let two or more show up and I thought they were having an uprising. Man, no wonder I am a wacko!

Maybe this is it and I am missing it all because I always have my salt shaker. I think we are all given crossroads in our life. Choices. Which path do you take? Reach down and catch him or carry a salt shaker around? A couple of years ago I started reaching down. I became a better person too although a more curious person. Am I reaching far enough? Have I actually caught my robin? Guess time will tell.

Put the salt shaker down (its not good for your blood pressure) and take a chance with your eyes closed. Maybe you will catch the robin...Until then

Keep Rockin

I will

2010-04-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

15 more days and I will be a full time photographer. No more struggling at night to get supper cooked, editing done, orders place all before bedtime. I honestly don't know how I did it all before so I am hoping that with time to focus I can do even better. No more scheduling my weekends so full I dont have time to do anything but rush from one shoot to another. No more saying just a minute to my family or I am just too tired.

I plan to take the time to learn. Learn a new skill, learn more about the art, learn more about everything. I have about 999 emails forwarded to myself that has information in it I want to know. I will.

I plan to take time to research other vendors, other products that would interest my clients. I have about 999 business cards and paper information from a trade show I went to. I will.

I plan to take the time to shoot my kids. I am so busy taking photographs of other people I haven't had any of my kids in forever. That is sad. Everyone should have a camera, even if it is just a throw away film camera. Take pictures of your family. I have friends and family gone and no pictures. I will.

I plan to organize extravagant shoots that seem so simple you will be wowed. I plan to do charity shoots. I plan to organize shoots just for little girls and little boys. I plan to be available a lot sooner than I am now. I will.

I plan to take time, take more time to soak it all in. Oh yeah and get the house chores done before bedtime. I plan to crank up the stereo. I plan to go to my daughters games and not look like a mad crazy woman because I am so stressed and worried about this and that. I plan to spend more time with my family. I plan to work on my bucket list. I plan to be involved. I plan to be successful. I plan to fulfill my dream. I plan to make my family and friends proud. I will.

I plan to be a better photographer. I plan to take this city by storm. I plan to be known. I plan to make a difference. I will...Until then

Keep Rockin

Hope for La'Daysha

2010-04-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

A very good friend of mine told me a while back about a community that caught his attention. This is a mini documentary he has done hopefully to catch the attention of the rest of us. Not many people take the time to look at the problems here in our own home town. We want to go on a broader scale. You know as well as I do there is nothing wrong with helping others no matter where they are but it is cool to start on your own playing field.

In case your not able to write it down the website is aplaceforhope.net

I am proud of you B.

Hold Your Head Up

2010-04-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

I drop my daughter off everyday at day care at the same time. I see the same people shuffle in and out as I do, in a hurry to get to work on time. There is alot of crying from wookies being separated from their mom. Makes me so sad to hear it in the mornings but I know they are fine once Mom is gone.

There is this one lady I see. Every morning I say hi and she just shuffles by. Her head is always down. I hate that. I hate I cant read her and I hate the fact that it bothers me.

I know a lot of women who hold their head down, not confident in themselves or self esteem is low. Why? What makes you not confident in yourself. I bet you are better at some things than me. I bet there is a feature about you I am envious of. I bet there is something about you, something that we are all missing. I still hold my head up when I talk to you.

I have met a lot of people in my journey. And so far, every single one of them have a reason to hold their head up.

I hold my head up not because I know everything about everything. I can dance around a subject and probably make you think I know what I am talking about then I will secretly run and google, "What is a rockstar." I hold my head up not because I think the cutest nose in the world (a feature about myself I cannot stand) but I have some awesome hair. I hold my head up because I am good at something. I am a good mother, I am a good photographer, I am good for a laugh or two. I am not the best at these things but I strive to be good and I hold my head up.

I hold my head up because I was brought here. I was brought here for a reason, with a talent, with a message that not everyone was brought here to share. What if I held my head down? SHYEA! What a boring world it would be with out the knowledge of Brandy Kemp?

Hold your head up and stop looking down. Its a whole different world. Oh yeah you will run into stuff and trip from time to time by not looking down but its ok. And say hi back so I will quit worrying about you...Until then

Keep Rockin

Plug up the Blender

2010-04-13T06:27:00.001-07:00

There is no such thing as an original idea. The basis of any idea came from somewhere. Something you saw, maybe something you hear, emotion you felt or something you experienced could be the start of a great idea.

In Jr. High white Keds were the big thing. Everyone had Keds, everyone wanted to be exactly the same. We all had flybacks. The same. Everyone wore acid washed jeans. The same. I had naturally curly hair so flybacks didn't do too well, we didn't have a lot of money so my jeans were not exactly acid washed jeans but I did want Keds though. I bought bright pink Keds. I was still up to date but with a twist.

I like to take things I hear, see, witness, throw it in a blender for a couple of seconds and see what comes out. I see a lot of ideas with a twist. I honestly think Lady Gaga is Alice Cooper made over. Nothing wrong with that. She didn't "steal" any ideas from Alice Cooper. She simply took his stage performance and put it in a blender...sometimes I wonder if she literally threw it in a blender. We hear it all the time in music. Why cant we see it in everything else?

Everything is a potential idea to me. Idea for photography, idea for an adventure, idea for a blog post. Someone once told me I notice everything. I like that. I want to notice everything. You may see an idea in a different way. Tell someone or show them your ideas and don't be discouraged if someone comes up with a twist, build on it and take your ideas further. Just remember to plug the blender up, use it and don't be afraid! Remember imitation is the highest form of flattery...Until then

Keep Rockin

The Dragon Ride

2010-04-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday night I carried my girls to the fair. My 3 year old was so excited and the 12 year old disappeared with her friends. Its not cool to hang out with mom anymore unless you need money. There were not many kiddie rides so I knew we would definitely ride them 2 or 3 times each. First up The Dragon Rollercoaster.

Of course from way off the coaster looked like a lot of fun. Kids her size and obviously her age were riding and laughing having a good ole time. After they all got off we made our way up to the entrance. Cameron jumped right up there and got in the front of the coaster. She looked so little. She had a look on her face like, "I am not too sure about this." And when the coasted took off it looked like she was going to have permanent whiplash. It was so fast! I could see her little fat jaws shaking over all the bumps and every time she would pass by she would give me this look like, "Is this thing ever going to stop."

I waved every time she passed by saying under my breath, "Oh my god, I hope she is not mentally or physically damaged from this ride!" After the longest ride at the fair was over of course I said, "Yea, that was fun wasn't it Cameron?" She didn't answer me.

After testing out all of the other kiddie rides and avoiding the dragon she said she wanted to ride it again. We stood in line and when she got in the front of the dragon she looked back and me and said, "I want you to ride with me." So I squeeze my tail into a seat that is not meant for an adult behind, cock eyed my legs so the bar can be lowered and felt completely like a gorilla on a mini bike.

She screamed "Yahoo" when we would go down the big dip and I could tell she was having a great time. A lot different than the first go round. I would pull my body forward when we could go down the big dip to keep from breaking my back on the hard metal seat. We rode that thing two times.

This morning I have a bruised back, knee and the top of my right foot from riding the dragon ride with her. But I realized one thing. Things are scary when you try something different, especially alone.

Sometimes it is better to try it with someone else you trust and know or at least have the support from those when the scary ride is over. Sometimes you have to bruise yourself to help others too. Be the support we all need at one time or other in our lives. The ride is scary sometimes for us all and the ones that you help will be right there when you want to ride the dragon ride, I know...Until then

Keep Rockin

Dishin' out the Crap

2010-04-09T06:57:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love about my life? I have been through a lot of crap, A LOT OF CRAP! That "losta" CRAP I went through I think made me who I am today. Of course it was devastating at the time and I never thought it would be the same but that crap was really lessons learned.

I think that crap taught me to go out, hunt and drag my kill back. I see a lot of women and men my age not able to do that. I wonder if they had experienced the same crap they would be different? Crap takers are admired sometimes, sometimes only to themselves. Maybe my kill is not the kill I wanted. I have defiantly doubted myself alot along the way.

At first crap taught me to be hot-headed, scared, and secretive. Crap taught me to be competitive. Crap taught me to be scared and insecure. Crap taught me to not have an opinion. Crap can change a person.

Then that crap taught me to be those things in a good way. I was looking at my crap the wrong way. Hot-headed when I believe in something, scared but making the leap, learning to keep my mouth shut at the right times. Competitive to make myself better and have more knowledge on my journey. Crap taught me to be open minded.

It took me a long time to evaluate my crap and make it an asset to my life. Are you looking at your crap the right way? Share your crap with others, they may begin to see the good things in it or even help guide you on your way to understand the crapola we have been given...Until then

Keep Rockin

Thank You

2010-04-08T06:36:00.000-07:00

I think someone should always say, "Thank you." Its just the right thing to do. Kids these days and young adults (I like to include myself in that range of folks although I am past young adults) seem to not have that.

I remember writing thank you notes when I had received shower gifts and wanting to personalize each one, not the standard same thing, "Thank you for the gift. I needed it and it will used." How boring would it be to get that note? I had to add some sparkle to mine. I know we are all in a hurry now. Rushing here, have to get there and its alot easier to send an email rather than snail mail. When my sister was pregnant with her last child I found out by a text message. Why don't we talk to each other anymore?

I know it is easier to say somethings in an email. Its instant and doesn't cost 44 cents. I know it is easier to send a text. You don't get caught up in a conversation, you need to say what you have to say and that is it. Its easier to write on someones social network, your only response could be :) and it is accepted.

Although my handwriting is AWFUL (and I mean that in all caps) I still like to send notes and hope that I have the time to send unexpected notes to my friends and family like I use to do. I am still old fashion in a lot of ways. I love snail mail. I love to get mail. I use to always want to send a thank you note when I got a thank you note! I still buy CDs and movies, I rarely download. I don't have a smart phone, although I did get a touch screen and all that does is send out a booty call when I put it in my back pocket.

I do alot of my business through the internet, text messages, and social sites because everyone else does. It is up with the times, fast paced, and I can get quick and easy notes to my friends. I think it is time to send out some sloppy handwritten notes. When is the last time you took the time and did the old fashion art of sending a letter? Oh yeah, thank you for reading... Until then

Keep Rockin

Next, Step Forward

2010-04-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

I am really excited about the changes in store for brandy kemp Photography! I have been approached by a clinic in Jackson to hang my art and a boutique to hang it in. I have people coming from different states to little ole me to shoot their boudoir sessions. I have people asking to trash their dress. I even have a bride from Dallas, Texas meeting me in Hot Springs to do a special bridal shoot to surprise her husband with. The phone is ringing like crazy and my appointment book is slammed. It is just amazing that out of the norm and edgy photography is accepted.

I love it! Why would you want to settle to be like everyone else? Why would you settle to be treated like your on assembly line? NEXT, STEP FORWARD, NEXT, STEP FORWARD. Break out and show you! The real you, not the one with the sparkling eyes and dreamy smile on your face.

I told you I would blow the doors off this small town. Dream big guys and keep dreaming. Mine are coming true...Until then

Keep Rockin

What's Between the Bread

2010-04-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

Life is a weird thing or at least it has been so far.

When I was young the world seemed so big. Just driving to Jackson from my home seemed like a eternity to get there. I remember always taking a nap. Jackson was the "big" city to us. OMG I just realized how sheltered we were.

We went every year on the same vacation, doing the same things, seeing the same places. I did seem to appreciate it more as I got older but lets appreciate somewhere else besides Gatlinburg! We ate at the same places, stayed in the same hotel and to this day I swear I could drive there with my eyes closed and show you some of the older things that are overshadowed by the new arcades, lights, and restaurants that I would have longed for on one of our repeat trips there.

It seemed like we rented the same movies when we went to Patterson's Grocery. The VCR was like the size of the dashboard in my truck. Saturday nights seemed like the same supper, beans, cornbread and fried potatoes. Where's the meat? Beans are the meat according to my mom.

I think this is what made my family comfortable. Repetition. You mow the yard on the same day. You cook tators and beans on the same day. You rent Savannah Smiles every time you rented movies. Repetition makes a lot of people comfortable. My husband eats the same thing for lunch every day and has for the past several years, that's what he wants and there is nothing wrong with being comfortable. No surprises on whats between the bread at 11:30.

I need to see new things, go new places, try different foods! Break out of the norm. I want to be different. I strive to be different, even in my photography. I don't want to do the same thing everytime. I look for new locations. I spend as much time as I can studying people. What makes them smile. What makes them happy. Everything to me is a potential piece of art. The way she held her hand when she asked a question. Someone told me once I always look like I am reading people when they talk to me. I guess I am.

I just think that we were given this awesome world to explore and we are not. By the way, for the past several years we have gone to Florida on vacation. Stayed at the same condo, eat at the same restaurants, visited the same gift shops. Oh my, we are my parents! This year I added some spice. We are going to Mexico. I have planned for us to ride through the jungle in jeeps, swim in a pool inside a cave and get a massage on the beach. Hows that for different?

Aint nobody gonna say I haven't lived. What are they going to say about you? Try something different when you go out to eat or take the long way home. I promise it wont hurt you...Until then

Keep Rockin

100 Things Challenge

2010-04-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

I know I am suppose to write about fall or winter today but I got something else to tell you. I have an inspirational friend on Facebook that keeps my mind turning. (like I really need that distraction!) Anyway, I recently read about the 100 things challenge. It is a challenge to live on 100 things alone. Google it, its pretty cool.

The 100 day challenge is a way to live a minimal lifestyle. I like my things just like the next person. I have that cool pair of shoes that doesn't go with anything I own and probably nothing I will ever own but I hang on to them. I like my stuff. No I love my stuff. My stuff makes me feel like I have accomplished something. Yeah I worked hard to be able to buy that. I am saving that just in case I need it. Who am I fooling?

These are the things that are not suppose to be included:

Stuff that is shared by my family
non-personal stuff like dishes, cleaning supplies, etc
books
tools
collections count as one item

I have too much crap to dusk as it is. I just built a studio and it is already crammed with stuff I "might" use. Now I am all for a minimal lifestyle. We have 9 lunchboxes on top of the fridge. NINE. Why do we need 9? There is only 4 of us. I have a whole collection of Readers Digest Books from my parents. Very nice books that have timeless stories in them and old drawings inside to show the story. A really cool collection but I have had them for over 6 years and have never picked one up. I need to donate them to the library. Inside the books I found old ticket stubs and such. I guess my parent were not good at purging either.

Its time for a change. Time to declutter. I don't honestly think I could get down to 100 things but I am definitely going to make a change. I think if I can get rid of some things it will get rid of some stress. We have entirely too much crap to take care of, dusk, pick up. Honestly what do those things mean to me? I appreciate my past, some of it I would rather forget, but I appreciate things that were passed down but WHY ON EARTH do I need a plug in Santa Clause from 1965?

I think it will be harder for the rest of the family to purge than myself but they may follow along. Keep an eye out on Facebook and here to see what I got for sale! Its time for a change. I think with one change it will bring another. Hopefully the real change I am wanting to make in my life.

I will share that change when it happens. I will be so excited to get there ...Until then

Keep Rockin

Summer Sting

2010-03-31T06:49:00.000-07:00

Summer is right around the corner. Time to let the housework go and focus on the outside. Mulching the flower beds, planting the garden, mowing, taking on a new project and don't forget killing snakes (Sorry but I cant stand a snake).

Speaking of projects I got a cool one in mind for my photography!

Summer seems to dry out the spring rains and brings on new life on its own. The plants that thrive and bloom in a dryer season come out and show us their beauty. I love the wavy lines from the heat you see in the distance, hearing the pool water splash on its own, and the sound of waves slapping the boat from another at the river.

I feel energized in the summer. Its the chance to eat outside, invite friends over, and have a cold drink. Vegetables are abundant in the garden and sometimes you just go and pick some things for a dinner salad. Feels great to eat something you grew.

Kids are outside giggling playing in the sprinkler and hubby is shaking his head at the water wasted. That ahhh feeling when you step into a pool that is still a little cool. That feeling when you bury your feet in the sand. The truck stays washed more than it normally does just to get outside. Spraying down the kids with the water hose when they don't expect it. Never noticing the summer sting on my skin because the over spray.

The days seem to last so long and seem to slow down. I like that. Riding in a convertible at night slowly. Looking up, wondering if the universe just goes on forever and feeling like the ones that are gone are looking down on you. Closing your eyes and letting the wind just blow your hair. Summer sting on my skin from riding all afternoon and into the night with the top down.

The summer sting is not only a burn it is a reminder of a season that friends seem to come together. Friends; the kind you don't want to do without. Get out the SPF, summer is coming...Until then

Keep Rockin

Spring Winds

2010-03-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

Its funny the relationship we all have with the weather. I wish it would warm up, its too hot, we need rain, guess I am gonna have to build a boat.

Here is how I have learned to deal with it. First I will tell you about spring winds.

Spring brings soft winds, the air smells cool and its almost like a new beginning. It brings out all of these little babies. Little baby buds and leaves. The ancient bulbs start to bloom like the tulips and buttercups. They are there for wisdom to teach the little babies to grow and look over them. That's how I have always looked at it. Light rain comes and washes everything clean for the new year. Almost like an artist throwing water on a painting while it is wet. A clean slate.

The other night I had a client in the studio and while she was changing clothes I stepped outside. I was sweating like crazy keeping the studio warm because I didn't want her to get cold. Of course I got chill bumps when I walked outside. A storm was coming and you could see the clouds rolling by so fast in the sky. It was almost like they were running away from the storm. The wind was blowing and I just stood there with my eyes closed and could smell almost pure air. Instantly I went back to a couple of years ago when I sat on the beach in Florida. The baby was taking a nap in the room with the family I walked down to the beach with my oldest daughter. It was the week of Christmas so the weather was a little cool. While Rachel hunted for shells, I sat in a chair that was there from the resort and closed my eyes. It was like a spring winds. Cool, misty, relaxing.

It took me a while to appreciate things. Yeah spring rains still mess up my shoots. Although overcast days rock. The spring wind will blow a little harder than gentle and my clients hair is blowing everywhere. But it is what we were given. Complaining about it is not gonna make it any better. Tomorrow I will tell you about summer. Wha? I gotta drag it out. I am running out of smartness...Until then

Keep Rockin

A Couple of Days Lunch

2010-03-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

Saturday I carried a boudoir client to the beauty shop to get her hair and makeup done. I always go with my clients and sit with them just to be part of the process. It also gives me a chance to get to know them a little better before the shoot. Most of the girls are very nervous and I want to think that the little time we spend at the beauty shop helps with the nerves.

While waiting for my girl to get dolled up and little lady came in and had a seat next to me. In one hand a bag with some hair products in it, in the other hand a photo album. She bragged to another beautician about having pictures from her renewal of her vowels after 50 years. After showing the girls in the shop she leaned over and said, "You wanna see them?" Of course I did.

She went on and on about how the church was decorated in gold for the golden years. They received a golden rod. A beautiful plant that really doesn't cost that much at all but the branches were filled with money. She bragged about how the church supplied the cake, the reception food and how wonderful it all taste. As I turned each page she pointed out people in her family just like I knew them. She showed me the beautiful antiques that were brought in from the era they were married to decorate the tables with. She told me when they were married 50 years ago it was just a simple ceremony and she wore a dress her mother had given her.

Then she carried me back in time to when they were married. Told me how young they were. They didn't know what they were doing and started having kids early. They didn't have much money and had she went on about the sacrifices she had made for her marriage and her children. Then she boasted about her children's lives now. She told me of their achievements and told me all about her grandchildren. She was so proud of her family.

Mid sentence of taking me back 50 years she said, "I have always wanted to have that done." She was pointing at my client having her makeup done. I told her she should go for it. Then she gave me that look that told me she never would and that phff under her breathe.

As soon as she was "called" back to get her hair done she was gone as fast as she appeared. For some reason I had this urge to do something for her. I just felt like if I didn't she never would and she deserved it. Every woman does even if they are 78 years old. She bragged about that too.

When my girl was through I asked the beautician that checked me out to add a makeup package to the bill and give it to the little lady in the back. Don't tell her who it was just keep it between us and make her make the appointment. If it had been my grandmother she never would've followed through. As far as I knew no one else would ever know but the beautician and myself and it felt good to do something for her.

Later that afternoon I got a phone call. It was the little lady. The "secret" was out and she had my phone number too! She thanked me and told me how surprised she was. Told me she had seen some of my photography and she had a huge extended family and would make sure I was thanked through business. Embarrassed I didn't want her to think I had a motive, I told her it was meant to be anonymous and I wanted her to enjoy it for her. She told me she had made an appointment, telling me the day and time. I bet she said thank you 100 times.

I could honestly see her smile through the phone. It made me smile too. It was $15. $15 to make her day. I spend $15 in a couple of days for lunch. I hope she follows through. I do believe that big things can be done with little effort. I didn't know her from Adam's house cat but I instantly felt connected with her. Maybe she will pass it on or do other things for herself.

Maybe you could pass it on or do other things for yourself. Its only $15, you can eat left overs for a couple of days right?...Until then

Keep Rockin

Forgiveness

2010-03-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

I had a friend post today (in so many words) that women are bad about taking things out on the next guy. The guy from before just ran all over them, left them heartbroken and unable to love again. And the next guy that comes along? Bless his heart, he has hell to pay from the heartbreak.

I have so been there, lots of times. My heart broken in so many pieces and let down by a relationship. Not always from a man. Sometimes from a friend, a family member or a co-worker. It makes it hard. But I have grown to forgive those that have hurt me and move on. I truly think if you don't love or put trust in yourself how can you truly love or trust another? Nothing hurts worse than being let down or unsupported by your friends, family, or lover.

I think alot of let downs are miscommunication too. Someone doesn't seem as excited as you think they should be over an accomplishment or an idea. Someone tells a joke that you take literally. Someone tells something that is not true to another. Sometimes people are hurt and just say something hurtful to make you feel just as bad as they do.

Your continuing the cycle if you continue to punish the people in your life for the wrong that has been done to you. STOP the cycle! That sounded like a line from a commercial I know. Stop punishing everyone else for your unhappiness, stop thinking everyone is out to get you, stop being so dog gone mean. Your doing nothing but making more people dislike you. Then there are some people that are forgiving you that you are continuing to hurt over and over again. Think about it, your turning into that person that hurt you in the first place!

Let it all go and learn to forgive yourself. Learn to love yourself again. Forgive others. Yes, your feelings will get hurt again. Yes, you will have bad days. Remember this though, even if you forgive them that doesn't mean you have to accept them fully back into your life. You forgive and you move on. Hope that someone will forgive you if you have done them wrong. We are just trying to survive. Some of us were taught better survival skills than others. It may be time to pull up your big girl britches and start forgiving...Until then

Keep Rockin

Did You Get a Handbook?

2010-03-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

After watching my 3 year old send my husband on the verge of nervous breakdown this morning I wonder. God! Am I doing everything right? All he was trying to do was get her to brush her teeth and it was like asking her to eat a whole plate of broccoli and lima beans. I remember someone once told me that is just theatrics. If that is true my 3 year old is going to have a successful career in the movies.

I try (I am sure too hard) to raise my kids what I think is the right way. They respect other people, say yes mam, and are considerate, but is that enough? I think I am teaching them to follow through. My daughter broke her arm mid softball season a few years ago. We still went to every game. She was the bat girl and rooted her team on. Yes it would've been easier to just say we are done, but what am I teaching her? Or am I teaching her?

My kids think that words like stupid and shut up are ugly words. My oldest got made fun of at school because she told on someone else for saying the "st" word as she called it. That is when I had to teach her that the "st" word is hurtful, very hurtful. It doesn't help that Spongebob says it all the time.

I have learned that a B is not that bad. Simply put.

There are alot of life lessons that stick with me and some I have learned along the way. I worry too much I know, but I want my children to be happy, successful and become great parents themselves. I fear sometimes they will make the same mistakes I did. I certainly don't want them to lay on a doctors couch one day tell the psychiatrist, "My dad made me brush my teeth and now I am scarred for life." I want them to daydream like their mom does and say it is ok to take a day off and do nothing. I want them to be a partner in marriage. It took me a long time to learn that one. I was so use to taking care of myself. I didn't want anyone else to do it. I want them to be confident. I want them to know that they are equal. Certainly not better and not beneath anyone or anything else.

I know I am making mistakes, probably alot more than I want to admit to. Their momma can be stubborn too. Imagine that.

Did you get a handbook? I musta been in a hurry to get home from the hospital because I didn't get one. Send me some tips from your chapter...Until then

Keep Rockin (and rollin)

Break Out of The Norm

2010-03-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

Things I wish I had time to do would be to invest more time in my photography. Time learning new processes, new techniques, new everything. I do believe that you have to be ever evolving to keep up. I think that it is that way with everything really. Knowledge is power!

I am glad that my photography is not the head tilted cheese. I strive to make it exciting, fresh and new. Something that this little ole town ain't use to! Everyone wants to be exciting right? I understand that those "cheese" portraits are popular and necessary for some but is it necessary for everyone?

I have 3 huge canvases hanging in my living room. One of my daughter laughing so hard you can see the crinkle in her nose, one of my other daughter smiling so big her eyes almost disappear and one of Rachel looking tough with her softball gear, hat on backwards, with her game face on. There are a few portraits hanging through the home of Rachel showing the stage of herself at that age, throwing up the peace sign, wearing her sunglasses, giving a funny look and some of Cameron just being herself, plain silly!

I don't know about you but these definitely tell more about my children than Rachel and Cameron dressed in white dresses (which they never wear) staring at a book or hands cupped under their face with this dazed grin on their face. That's not my children!

Lets take a portrait of you burning those white shirts! Just kidding. Break out of the norm. Show you! Not the you that you think you should show. Its ok, I promise.

Even if I am not the one to take your portraits tell your photographer your bringing your drum sticks to the session or you want some made with the hat that you feel extra cool in when you wear it. I bet they will love it! Really want to see them grin? Tell them you want to trash a dress or tell them they have full reign. Not many people want the not so norm portraits. I am so glad my clients do...Until then

Keep Rockin

Refuge Comfort

2010-03-22T06:50:00.000-07:00

2 of my favorite shows ever (besides Lost) is Dirty Jobs and 30 Days. Both are shows that teach you to walk in another man's shoes. Its not easy to do either. I have told my husband that I would love to do these types of shows. Curiosity gets the better of me, but after cleaning out a sewer and living 30 days on minimum wage and the only income in the house, I may change my mind.

I have my own secret show I think about. Shhh, don't tell FX or The Discovery Channel, they will be all over it! My show will of course feature me, living in different homes for 30 days. Here is the first season. The name is Refuge Comfort with Brandy Kemp. Gotta have my name in there!

Living with Ted Nugent on his ranch. Land as far as the eye can see. Fresh, clean air that never gets dull. I wake up early in the morning and sit on the back porch to breathe it all in. Riding the 4 wheelers across the land and shooting a bow and arrow. Watching the sunset into a sky that seems to never end. Once a week I would hunt with him for supper.

Living in a high rise apartment in New York. I can walk anywhere I want to go. Joining in the hustle and bustle just to get to the coffee shop. I buy groceries just for the night and don't have to worry about tomorrow until it gets here. Huge window with a view of the city and at night it is just breath taking. At night I walk to the regular meeting spot to see friends. We laugh and tell the same jokes over and over. Tuesday night is salsa dance classes.

Living in a bright orange beach house trimmed in white right on the sand. I leave the windows open to hear the ocean roar throughout the day and when I go outside I feel the steady mist on my face. I walk barefooted everywhere I go and of course never have to worry about ironing my hair. I go deep sea fishing at least once a week. My skin is so tan and freckles are all over my face. Sometimes at night I walk down to the beach and just sit and absorb it all in. I build a bonfire and just relax.

Living in a RV in the middle of the desert. Cooking my food outside and 3 gazillion moth balls outside around the RV to keep away the snakes. I will walk as far as I can and never see another soul. It will seem like the earth is flat. I will sit in the sand and talk to no one. Wishing they were there with me. Nights are beautiful with stars all around. No city lights to overpower them. Words cant describe how lost you can get staring at the sky and counting the stars.

Living on a tour bus with a rock band. Seeing a different city every night. Sleeping in late everyday because we partied so hard the night before. Ridiculous requests for the dressing room and laughing because they met them. Feeling the rush of the crowd as they sing along to the lead. I watch the nerdy guys play the air guitar and drums and smile cause I am one of them.

Living in a family home on 3 acres with a small lake in the front filled with catfish and crappie. Complaining because I don't have enough time to fish it. Vegetable garden to the right with so many tomatoes I cant keep them picked. Rushing to get supper fixed every night so I can spend more time working. Going to the grocery store every single day because I forgot something the day before. Laundry never ends and the dog runs through the house every time you open the door. I cant keep the house picked up for the crayons, paper and stuffed animals. Leaving it all behind to spend an unexpected day with the family.

My show would win awards with no one but myself. Experiencing life as others, although my favorite is the last one. Don't laugh I already have second season planned too. I will share it another time...Until then

Keep Rockin

Make Your Mark

2010-03-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

Fathers are always wanting boys. They want someone to give their name to. They want their name to live on and become a legacy. Sr, Jr, the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd, he wants his children to make sure they know they were named after their father and his father and his father so the legacy continues. What happens to the mothers name? It becomes tied into a name for the child or grandchild so the legacy continues, sorta.

What about my legacy? I didn't name my girls after myself or their grandparents. What if they don't want to name their children after me or some kind of twist on my name? Is the legacy gone? No it is not.

I am making my mark in this world. My name is not on a stadium or a building, just yet, but don't think I ain't working on it. I am using my past experiences to share with my girls. I am teaching them to be free thinkers trying not to force my opinions on them but definitely giving my input. I want my girls to tell their children, Grandma Rockstar use to always say, "The best line in rock n roll was, you got lucky babe when I found you." So think highly of yourself! Grandma Rockstar was an adventurer and used her talents to the best of her ability and shared them with the world.

Are you making your mark in the world? Did you give your children your last name or some kinda funky twist on it or are you really doing something to make your mark? I dont know about you but I want to be remembered and not just Great Grandma Rockstar was so weird!

Make your mark. Share your talents with the world. Share your past with your children (well the good stuff anyway)...Until then

Keep Rockin

Your Synaesthetic Side

2010-03-18T06:57:00.000-07:00

My favorite television show out of all of the ones that are on the air is CBS Sunday Morning. If you haven't seen it check it out. It is a really cool show.

About a year ago they had a segment on about synaesthesia. People who see colors and shapes when they listen to music. HOW COOL IS THAT? The segment told that many synaesthetes are artist who paint what they see. Most of the art being abstract. The synaesthetes that they interviewed said it was a wonderful experience that never gets old or annoying.

The segment also questioned if everyone had some sort of synaesthetic ability. Take a piece of paper and crayons and listen to music. It doesn't have to be classical. Turn on some Skynard, Jay-Z, Etta James, or some of that country stuff and just draw what you visualize. Now I am not saying a dancing leprechaun is going to jump out in front of you and dance a jig. What do you feel? I tried it. Lots of wavy lines, short marks, circles, looked kinda cool. Ok it looked like something my 3 year old would draw but it is what I felt.

I have always had a close relationship with music. I cant even describe what it does to me. I like to think I can feel music, I would love to see it.

Some people say, "I don't listen to the words. I just like the beat." There is more to a song than just the drums, Phil Collins would definitely disagree with me on that. Listen to the deep hum of the bass, listen to the sharp riffs of the guitar, listen to the words, they are poetry. Although some are not a poem I would read to my daughter at bedtime.

Grab a piece of paper and draw what you see from your favorite song. Draw the beat of the drums that you like so much. Get in touch with your synaesthetic side, you might just create something awesome. If it looks like a 3 year old scribbled on a piece of paper you can blame it on me...Until then

Keep Rockin

Its Hard to Say

2010-03-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

Someone told me once if you take two people from different households and put them together there is eventually going to be some trouble. Whether they are friends, married, or co-workers.

Take those two people. Each one of them brought up different . Each one of them taught different values. Each one of them subject to the environment they were brought up in. Now put those two people together and let the trouble begin.

One example I can tell this is true by the homes I pass everyday. Growing up my dad mowed the yard every single day it seemed like. So I think the yard should be well manicured. I see some, well lets just say they are not going to win yard of the month. But that was the way I was raised, so that is what I think is right.

Its not you fault, his fault, her fault, anyones fault why there is trouble right? Each person is thinking completely different reasons why the other one is wrong. I think alot of relationships would have been saved just by someone saying, "I was wrong." I have seen alot of relationships end because no one would. No one wants to be at blame. No one wants to be the first one to say they are sorry because that would be admitting that your wrong, right?

I have learned since I have gotten older sometimes you have to be the first one. Let things go and say your sorry. I am not saying I am always willing but I have gotten better at it. It gets easier after the first time...believe me. I still say it alot.

Remember we are two completely different people, but I believe deep down we are the same...Until then

Keep Rockin

Sober Up

2010-03-15T06:38:00.000-07:00

I wanted to stop smoking many, many moons ago. I had tried before, well I say I tried before sometimes I wonder if I really wanted to quit at all. I went to my doctor and she subscribed this little magic pill to help me quit. She said after 7-14 days put them down and it would be a good idea to sign up for the support that they send you in the mail. I was ready. It wasn't even 5 days and I felt like a million bucks. Then the support newsletters started coming once a month to help me remain "sober."

One of the things I remember my support newsletter said was to distance yourself from other smokers. If you plan to go somewhere and you know there is going to smokers, change your plans. If your friends smoke you will have to distance yourself from them or you will be tempted to smoke. Throw away all the ashtrays, matches, lighters, and cigarettes in the house. I couldn't light a candle in the house for a long time!

Same rules apply to people I believe. Don't you always feel bad when your around someone that is in a bad mood all the time? Do you feel on edge when your around someone who you know just isn't the right person to be around? I don't think you should completely ignore those people but I do believe that they are almost like a drug themselves, getting to you. Making you just as depressed or unhappy as they are.

I have this bad habit of wanting to solve everyones problems. Make them happy and feel better about themselves. I always felt like I failed someone if the problems didn't go away. I have realized that some people just want to be unhappy. Some people want to complain, want to have problems or at least create them for themselves. Its very sad to me and I hope they find their happiness, even if I cant show it to them.

Surround yourself with good people, laughter, and corny jokes. I promise you will feel alot better and "sober". By the way, I am still smoke free and I got plenty of corny jokes for you...Until then

Keep Rockin

My Tree to Me

2010-03-12T20:26:00.000-08:00

I have The Mulberry Tree by Van Gogh hanging in my bathroom. Was that a good opening line? I have it hanging right above my bathtub so I can look at it when I relax in there. I have looked for this tree. It doesn't have to be a mulberry tree but the lone tree in the middle of an open field. I have envisioned so many scenarios with the "tree".

Spring time with little green buds starting to form on the branches with a young couple underneath. A candid photograph of them flirting with each other. Big blue sky above with the whitest clouds scattered across the sky. The empty field shows little sprigs of grass coming up here and there. This photograph is so colorful.

Summer finds a ton of kids playing underneath. The tree is so full it seems to be top heavy. The field has not been mowed and the grass is starting to get tall but still thin enough to see through. Lots of smiles, laughs and you can almost hear the giggles in the photograph. There is not a cloud in the sky and the sun is shining so bright the photograph has a yellowish haze over it.

Fall, oh fall is my favorite vision. The leaves on my tree are orange, yellow, red and small touches of brown. The sun is starting to set and it is glistening through the branches. There is a bride under the low hanging branches. She has a small shy smile on her lips. Her gown is vintage with a lots of lace. No veil but she has her hair in a loose bun with little tendrils hanging down. A bouquet of full pink flowers. The tall grass has turned brown and starts to have little heads on top. The haze of the sun setting mutes the photograph with soft colors.

Winter is sad. The sky is numb. There is not a blade of grass in the field and all the leaves are gone. There is a lonely man underneath the tree dressed in black holding a black umbrella. He is mourning the loss of a loved one. The tree seems to bow down in respect to the lost one. This photograph is in black and white.

My photographs, in my mind, have always shown me how the tree seems to be something that people are drawn to. The young couple sharing their feelings, kids playing and wanting to share their youth, the bride wanting to share her happy day and the man who needs someone to be there with him.

I have always heard human reaction help plants thrive. We all need that. Be the kind of tree that someone wants to carve a heart in or hang a swing on. I find my tree everyday in my family and friends...Until then

Keep Rockin

2010-03-11T07:36:00.001-08:00

I have always had this urge to find more. More answers, see more things, absorb more information, explore more, more, more, more. I hope and pray my girls are the same way.

I want to climb to the top of the mountain, sit on top and see below all that was made for us. Soak in the colors, the beauty and try to half way show it in a photograph for you that can't see or think you don't want to explore. This photograph will light a fire under you and you will want more.

I want to sit on an empty beach, with the whitest sand and bluest water and attempt to photograph it. You would be able to see how the ocean just bleeds into the sky sometimes. The sounds, the cool damp air, the rush of being a part of something that has not even begun to be discovered by us.

I want to walk through the rain forest and find the prettiest flower that's growing in an odd place, photograph it and show it to you too. This photograph will inspire you to find the beautiful things in the places you never expected.

I want to photograph that drop of dew on the grass from this morning. This photograph will give you the option to find beauty in the smallest things that we take for granted.

I want to go to a concert and sit on the front row. I want to photograph the crowd from behind me and show the rush of excitement that can be brought together by more than one of us. Then I want to photograph the band and show you how I can feel each and every instrument. How the music puts me at peace and I can sympathize with the words of a sad song.

I want to witness a live birth and photograph it. I want to show you how extraordinary we are as humans. How we have the ability to create something, a living thing and how beautiful and emotional it is.

I could write all day long about the things I want to experience and show you.

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting more. Sometimes it just totally consumes me and becomes a desire or an obsession to find more. Look for the beauty around you and share it with others. I don't think everyone sees everything the same way. Maybe if you share what you see they will start to see the beauty in everything. I think if you find it in one thing you begin to find it in other things. Keep looking around...Until then

Keep Rockin

Why Are You So Tired?

2010-03-10T06:26:00.001-08:00

I fell asleep during my niece's birthday party like an old man after Thanksgiving dinner Sunday. Not just once but a couple of times. I got caught and someone asked, "Why are you so tired?"

Of course the way my mind works I thought way too much about the question. Here is my answer.

I get up every morning at 6 and watch Spongebob with Rachel. We talk about the dreams we had last night (Hers are just as goofy as mine) and we repeat the lines on Spongebob because we have seen every episode at least 99 times.

Then I wake up everyone else up. Get myself and Cameron ready. She is fighting the whole time and does not want to brush her teeth. We argue about that every morning. Leave around 7:30, she talks 100 miles an hour all the way to school. Chunk her in the daycare and slide into work at 8, ok most of the time it is 8:06.

Lunch break I am doing the stuff I don't have time to do during the week. Pick up groceries, run home to do something that is on my mind, or even schedule doctor appointments, etc. Softball season cranks up soon so I will have to skip lunch and leave work early to have her on the field in time.

5 I run out the back door of work like a scalded dog, rushing to pick up Cameron before the daycare hits me with a late charge. I listen to her cry all the way home because she wants me to look at something while I am driving down the road, I am not playing "her song" on the radio or wants me to open something.

Hit the door and cook supper, eat, dunk everyone in the tub, edit, place orders, wash some clothes, clean the kitchen. The best thing I ever did was hire a housekeeper!

My goal is to be in bed every night by 10. I don't know why I have this goal cause I never get to bed at that time.

I don't even want to get into the weekend schedule.

I have a secret dream schedule though. Volunteering at the school, painting again, taking clients during the week, start working on my journal of 100 things, walk at the park every morning, baby this list could go on and on. It keeps me smiling for some reason even though I never get to do those things. It almost seem sometimes like I am working to get to that dream schedule and it never happens. I want to start doing at least one thing from my dream schedule. It will definitely have to be a small something to work it in. Do you have a dream schedule? Something you would love to do during the day if you had an extra hour, 15 minutes, 5 minutes?

Think about it. I sit down every night at 10 and watch Will and Grace. I could skip that. I have seen them all. That's an extra 30 minutes right? Or should I go ahead and sit down for 30 minutes and take it easy? I hear alot of people say if I just had more time. Definitely something to chew on...Until then

Keep Rockin

Feel Alive

2010-03-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

Ever have those things you want to do but never? Only because the house is a wreck, you are tired, it will put you behind?

Last night I carried my daughter to see Alice in Wonderland. While driving there my mind is in overdrive, I don't have time to do this. I have sessions to edit, orders to place, laundry to do, and the list could go on. After the movie was over she told me how much she liked it being just us two and thanked me for carrying her. I felt like a dog for thinking about cancelling on her before we went, because of things I needed to do. I should do that more often. I will do that more often and I wont have to put it on a list.

A couple of years ago I had some health problems. I told my husband if we survive this no more excuses. We work so hard to have the things we have and don't get out and enjoy life. We are going to do the things we have wanted to do, stop making excuses. After the air cleared we did a few things we had been wanting to do and got back in the slump it seems. Life seems to get in the way. I say its time to kick the tires, and light the fires YEEHAW! As Rihanna would say, "Live your Life, your steady chasin that paper!" Although paper is a good thing! lol

I am not saying you need to ignore everything but some things can wait right? What will it hurt by waiting? Kick the tires in your life. Feel it out. Are you in a slump, doing the things you HAVE to do and only those things? Make a date with your daughter, save up a few pennies and go see Joe in concert. Find what makes you feel alive and do it! It feels good to be alive. It feels good to do something different, and it felt great to see my daughter so happy.

Go ahead light the fires and brag about it. Tell everyone else what you do to feel alive and make it a pay it forward kinda deal. Maybe it will inspire someone else to get out and "feel alive"...Until then

Please Keep Rockin

The Bucket List

2010-03-05T06:54:00.000-08:00

I was told once if you never tell anyone your dreams they may never come true, no matter how silly they are. I daydream ALOT! Just some inside information if you haven't figured that out yet. My hubby and I use to say we were going to retire at 55, move to the beach, he was going to have his own guided fishing tour service and I was going to take beach portraits and have a flip flop shop. We don't talk about that much anymore, not sure if we have given up on that dream. Guess we need to talk.

I came up with a "bucket list/fantasy list" a few years ago, no not because of the movie, because I put an ad in the local paper asking for regrets and was blown away by the response. I will post that one day for those that haven't read it before.

Anyway today this is a good list. I have been working on it for 3 years. My list changes, based on new experiences. It also changes after meeting new people. I hope my list continues to grow and change. Most of the things on here are unrealistic but I am sharing them right? No matter how silly they are...never know

1. Give $1,000 to a stranger. I saw a man do this once. He gave $1k to the homeless shelter anonymously and you should've seen her response. I hadn't done anything but I had this overwhelming rush of happiness.
2. See Joe Satriani no explanation necessary. Look him up!
3. Travel Route 66. Camera in hand, would love to do it in an RV and sleep out in the desert. Just to see the stars.
4. Interview someone that is terminally ill and give the information to their family. I know it sounds kinda strange but I need to know.
5. See the pyramids in Egypt at sunset
6. See a live taping of Saturday Night Live at Christmas. I have always wanted to go to NY at Christmas time so this is a twofer.
7. Go on a walkabout in Australia. Ok, so ever since Locke talked about this I did the research. Sounds like an experience of a lifetime. If I don't get to do anything else I would love to do this.
8. Catch a peacock bass in Brazil. I would settle for Florida but how cool would it be to catch one of those fighters in the freakin Amazon!
9. Have a celebration of life party. Black, white, red, green, short, tall, skinny, fat, blonde, brunette, 18, 80; I don't care come one come all and lets celebrate being here! May the best of your yesterdays be the worst of your tomorrows!
10. Go to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Need I say more?
11. Go bass fishing in Mexico. There are some MONSTERS there! Love it!
12. Go to Burning Man. Look it up! A music and artist heaven.

I was able recently to mark off fly an airplane with the help of a classmate. Loved it! Although I couldn't taxi down the runway and was petrified to land it. Thanks to another friend that sent me all of these videos of planes crashing before I flew.

I know some of these things are far-fetched like #12. I have a better chance of going to Bonnaroo. But who am I hurting by making my list? NO ONE! Make yours. It wont hurt one thing, might even inspire you to go on new adventures...Until then

Keep Rockin

Who Are You?

2010-03-04T06:22:00.000-08:00

I heard someone say the other day, "The real him came out." Meaning an explanation of why they were breaking up. For some reason this really stuck with me. Mom use to say it is only a matter of time before the real person comes out in a relationship and I have mentally repeated that to myself over the years making it the reason to end a relationship with someone.

Now I am not completely blind I know everything is fresh and new in the beginning . Your wearing nice clothes, He's wearing cologne, He's taking you out to eat, Your suggesting the movie you want to see. Everything is fine and dandy when your courting. Then fast forward a year or two. Your wearing T-shirts and baggy pj bottoms. You never go out to eat anymore let alone see a movie. I don't think that determines the real you.

I am not the same person I was before. I know this. Was that the real me? I really don't think anyone finds out who the real them are. OK my English teacher just fell out of chair on that one. I think we all change. That's it. We change, influenced by our family that grows, life experiences and influenced by our surroundings. There is nothing wrong with that, well as long as they are good influences. Change is what it is all about. I am changing, the world is changing.

Marketing webinars I have been on said you should be ever changing. It keeps things "new". Why does that have to be just in marketing? Why cant we all be ever changing? Boy that's alot of play on the word change!

I changed a lot after losing people in my life and because of that change I have learned to love life and learned to absorb as much as I can. I am teaching my children, telling others, and being ME!

Find yourself, or at least be open to meeting new people, learning new things, look around, and take it all in. At the end of the day it is not about dressing nice, cologne, eating out and going to the movies its about finding yourself over and over again...Until then

Keep Rockin

Confessions

2010-03-03T10:56:00.000-08:00

I had a friend tell me once, "Brandy, I love you and I am your friend so I am going to tell you something and don't let it hurt your feelings. You are too hard on people. You expect way too much from others. When you talk to people you stare right into their eyes and it makes them uncomfortable. Almost like you are reading into every word they say." Since then I have also been told that I stare off into nothing and almost seem lost at times and a friend confirmed all of the previous statements. WOW! Sadly I never realized I did any of these things.

When I was a bill collector we were taught the ways to tell if someone is lying. I saw some pretty crappy stuff from being a bill collector (that is a whole other post in itself). Seeing the signs of lying was the wrong thing to teach me! I am so scared that someone knows those same tricks that I tried too hard not to do those things. I guess I was trying too hard to make people believe me and believe in me. Thank you Carol for teaching me to relax.

Expecting too much.? I guess I was just raised with different work ethics than some people. I always had to take care of myself when I started working and I expected everyone else to have that same mentality. I use to be a waitress at the local pizza joint in town and we were suppose to take turns waiting on customers. Most girls didn't want to take their turn. I always jumped in their place. I wanted things and had to buy them myself! Thank you Marquita for teaching me to relax.

Staring off into the open? I had my guard up for a long time. A long line of disappointments behind me made me that way. I will have many, many more I am sure. Thank you Rachel and Cameron for teaching me to love again.

I have learned alot. Still trying to relax, accept and love. Sometimes focusing too much on learning. Without any of these experiences in my life I wouldn't be the way I am today. I am here and now, I am real, I am simply me but if I look at you funny when you talk, expect you to work a little harder, and seem to stare out into the open I want you to remember I am still learning.

It seems like human interaction is the hardest lesson to learn out of all of them. No lesson today though just some confessions...Until then

Keep Rockin